The Bag's on You, Sir

Submitted by Hylas:

I met him on a dating website. Maybe that was my first mistake. He'd messaged me, and I couldn't help but love his Star Wars tattoos. I have a thing for inked up geeky guys. He seemed like a prime contender.

We met informally for milkshakes, and I had a fine time, though I couldn't help but notice he kept calling me "sir." I thought maybe he was just being playful, or it was some kind of habit. Then we had our first official date...

He came to my place wearing only a cut-off t-shirt and skin-tight jeans. We had decided to go for sushi at a place near my house, so I insisted he borrow a shirt with sleeves. He didn't quite understand why it mattered, but we went on to dinner and had a fine time.

Over the course of dinner he mentioned that he had a degree in sociology, and took special interest in the power structures of different societies, and how every relationship had to have a dominant figure and a submissive. I found that an odd thing to say, but didn't really challenge him.

After dinner we came back to my place and he came in to change shirts. I stepped into the bathroom while he changed. When I came back out, I found he had stripped completely naked and stood in the middle of my bedroom. He told me he was a "submissive bottom" hoping I would train him, and wanted me to inspect his body and make sure it was to my liking. The first thing I noticed was his monster foreskin.

If I didn't know a guy had to grow his own, I would swear he bought it at Lane Bryant. It looked like a penis muumuu! I tried to hide my revulsion as I told him I was tired and needed to go to bed. He then lay down on my bed, face down. I told him I meant that I needed to go to bed - alone.

The next time we talked I told him that I didn't think we were well matched, but that I had a wonderful time at dinner. He expressed his disappointment: "Why wouldn't you train me, sir?"

"Because," I said, "I just don't think I have the time for dating right now, Baggy."

I'd let it slip: the nickname for him I couldn't get out of my head. The truth was, ever since seeing him that night in his naked glory, that voluminous foreskin was all I could think about.

"Did you call me Baggy?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's my nickname for you," I confessed.

"Why's that?"

"Because," I said, thinking fast, "you always wear tight jeans. It's ironic!"

To my surprise, he loved that...


  1. waah. Gay love story. So funny!

  2. Nothing wrong with foreskins. They are actually SUPPOSED to be there.

  3. This too can happen to you if you find nothing wrong with Star Wars tattoos.

  4. So was his foreskin well above the normal limits of foreskin, or are you just against foreskins? If you're just against them, they can be folded back...

  5. I'm not going to lie, I have star wars tattoos and a normal looking penis. Also, no weird fetishes, deformed body parts, or odd habits. Just sayin...

  6. "If I didn't know a guy had to grow his own..."

    They're not like fingernails or hair! 'Oops, went to long without a foreskin trimming!'
    This guy probably stretched the damn thing out with his fairly odd behavior.

  7. "If I didn't know a guy had to grow his own..."

    They're not like fingernails or hair! 'Oops, went to long without a foreskin trimming!'
    This guy probably stretched the damn thing out with his fairly odd behavior."

    Well...it does GROW
    Along with your penis, arms, legs and all your other body parts smarty pants :p

    I agree he probably was into some weird foreskin stretching. o.o

  8. I don't understand why it mattered if he wore long sleeves or not to a sushi bar. I've gone to plenty of restaurants wearing spaghetti strap tops before.

  9. A spaghetti strap top is a bit different then a cut off t-shirt.


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