4/06/2017

The Lawnmower Man

Story Sent in by Marlena:

I went on a couple of dates with Bernard and I don't think either of us were really feeling it. For our third date he actually invited me to his house on a Saturday morning to help him mow the lawn. I told him that I'd pass and that was the last I thought I'd hear from him.

Around 6am that Sunday morning, however, I woke up to the sound of a lawnmower going off right outside my window. It jolted me awake and I looked outside to find that Bernard was just standing there next to a running lawnmower. He asked me if I forgot about our date and I practically shouted him out of my yard and away. He ran off down the street with the lawnmower and I never saw him again.

8 comments:

  1. Is anybody thinking Patrick Dempsey from "Can't Buy Me Love?I think that's what Bernard was going for.Only thing though is that Op just wasn't feeling it...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, poorly conceived and executed rom-com "big gesture."

      Swapping the corny music for the sound of a two-stroke engine: not romantic.

      Delete
    2. Bob - most lawnmowers are four-stroke. GOD!

      Delete
    3. I was going to say that, but thought I'd sound like a lawn mower elitist ass hat. Thanks for taking that bullet Steve.

      Delete
    4. I seriously love that movie. Which is probably why I didn't think of it in this context...

      But I did think of another lawn mowing protagonist, with a big helping of threatening.

      Delete
    5. I am a proud elitist when it comes to internal combustion engine technology.

      Delete
    6. I was so ashamed I was unable to gather the strength to post my apology to all lawnmowers until this morning.

      Please forgive me!

      Delete

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