10/01/2015

The Crunchy Chair

Story Sent in by Dolores:

Last year when I was really putting myself out there, Brian picked me up for our first date. He had a Volkswagen with a pile of what looked like sports magazines in the back seat.

When I climbed into the passenger seat he said, "I'm glad you didn't sit in back. I have magazines back there."

I asked, "Why would I have sit in the back? That would've been weird."

He drove us onward. "I know. Some of the magazines are sticky, if you know what I mean."

Eep. I didn't say a word, as that effectively killed the conversation/date.

After over a full minute of silence, he asked, "Do you know what I mean?"

"I think so. Uh... where are we going for dinner?"

He was quiet during dinner and barely mumbled out two words. He offered to drive me home but I said I'd have a friend pick me up. He grumbled about that but didn't really say much of anything intelligible.

After we left the restaurant I bade him good night at the door. He asked me, "Do you want a complimentary magazine? Free with dinner."

"No. Thank you."

"Okay."

He shuffled away and that was the end of it.
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6 comments:

  1. Unknown10/01/2015 1:08 PM

    If that was an attempt at a invitation to screw, epic fail.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fizziks10/01/2015 4:08 PM

    We all know how he thought this would go.

    I'm curious how you thought it would play out. Your first clue might have been his hands on the wheel. I know you were most likely just afraid to be rude, but if a guy leads with that, I can think of things I'd rather do that stay in his car and sit through a dinner.

    On the other hand, we was really generous in offering you a mag considering how possessive he is of them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Architect10/01/2015 4:27 PM

      Damn you, that paper cut GIF will haunt me forever!

      Delete
    2. ladydyani10/05/2015 9:21 AM

      Oh god, just watching that made me cringe.

      Delete
  3. Jaci Carroll10/01/2015 4:47 PM

    Sports huh? Best you know now cause if that's his pleasure, things might have gotten....sticky if he asked you over to watch the game.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown10/01/2015 8:37 PM

    Fizziks and that photo of the hands had me laugh so hard I surprised myself, and I agree with Architect that the papercut was the kind of mental pollution even Dawn won't wash off. (smiling now after a long, hard day)

    ReplyDelete

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