3/17/2012

Inflatable Me

Story Sent in by Mark:

Denise and I spoke online for about a week before she asked, "You want to meet up?" She was petite, cute, and we sent very long emails back and forth to each other, so it seemed like it was probably a good plan. She named the cuisine, I picked the restaurant, and plans were made.

I arrived there first and sat in the restaurant vestibule, waiting for her. A little after our meeting time, she called me and said, "Hey, meet me right in front of 650 Wyoming. There's a blue Camry parked there. Look in the back seat."

I asked, "Is that your car? Is everything okay?"

She hung up. Worried, I hurried out of the restaurant and down the two blocks to the address she mentioned. Sure enough, there was a blue Camry. I looked in the window, and across the back seat, I discovered a nude, inflatable woman, complete with an open mouth and a very surprised look in her eyes.

I stepped back from the car with a smile and looked around, expecting Denise to appear at any moment to take credit for the joke. However, Denise was nowhere to be seen. I called her, reached her voicemail, and told her, "You're looking a bit surprised, and while I appreciate the offer, maybe we should have dinner, first. I'll meet you at the restaurant." I hung up and walked back to the place.

She never showed. I called her twice more. Voicemail each time. I walked back out to the car, which hadn't moved. After waiting close to an hour, walking back and forth from the restaurant to the car a few times, I gave up and went home.

I didn't call her anymore, but I did send her an email. Never heard back.

6 comments:

  1. I don't know why OP would stay for an hour and repeatedly call her when she'd clearly stood him up. And stood him up in such a crude, insulting manner. I would have left immediately after seeing the sex doll.

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  2. Exactly. Was the OP so desperate to have a date?

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  3. I think that was her way of getting a look at you without having to actually meet you. She was hidden nearby, looking for the guy who walked out to look in the back of the car. She didn't like what she saw. And she's a bitch.

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  4. I agree with all of the above. The OP is clearly unattractive and not very successful with women - if he had other reasonable prospects, he wouldn't be desperate enough to walk back and forth from the restaurant to the car for an hour. I'm guessing that he's unattractive and posted misleading profile pics. Denise was watching from nearby to get a look at him, and when she realized that her date was not going to be what she expected, she left. Not very polite of her, but then again it's not very polite to misrepresent yourself online either, so I'd call it a mulligan.

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  5. Kind of lost respect for OP when he stated he walked back & forth for an hour & made 3 calls. I knew the email wouldn't be responded to beforehand.

    Make *one* call and see if the restaurant's any good. You can use that knowledge on a date with someone who isn't going to jerk you around.

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  6. I'm not sure it was some kind of beauty test: if OP had been a gorgeous hunk, what would have happened: she'd pop out from behind a dumpster or something and say "Oops, left my sex doll back there, silly me, let's go eat!" C'mon.

    I think the whole thing was a prank from the beginning and "Denise" may not have even been female (how many girls own a female sex doll?)

    Either way it was probably correct that he was being watched, so here's what I would have done: don't react to the doll but get on the ground and reach into the engine... don't do anything or even touch it, but stay there a few seconds as though changing something. Then casually walk away. She'll assume you did something to the car but won't know what and the hilarity will be extreme.

    ReplyDelete

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