1/27/2012

That's Not for Sale

Story Sent in by Marissa:

Jeffrey and I met up at a mall on a rainy day for our first meeting. We had lunch in a restaurant, then walked around, sat down for a bit, then walked around some more.

It would have been fine, aside from the fact that at one point, after I told Jeffrey an embarrassing story about my past, he put his arm around me as if to console me, but as a joke. Then, he kept his arm there, which I thought was a bit forward, and then, he reached down with that same arm and pinched my rear.

"Hey!" I said, and pulled away from him, "None of that."

"Ever?" he asked.

I replied, "Um, not today. That's a little much."

He beckoned to me. "Come here," he said, and walked further away, then added, when he saw I wasn't following, "I promise, nothing bad. Just follow me for a sec. Please."

I did. We walked to an under-populated stairwell and walked up a flight, so that we were on a landing where no one else was. I thought that there was a particular store that he wanted to check out, or else–

He turned to me on the landing, said, "That's not a little much. This is," and then shot his hand toward my lap.

I was able to hit his hand away in time. He tried again with his other hand. I grabbed his wrist and bent his fingers back.

"Yeeeooow!" he screeched, then ripped his hand away, looked at his fingers, said, "You psycho bitch!" then ran upstairs.

I was shocked by what had happened, but I quickly headed downstairs, out of the mall, and home, before he could change his mind about my "psychosis" or my perceived receptiveness to his advances.

8 comments:

  1. ""I promise, nothing bad. Just follow me for a sec. Please." I did. We walked to an under-populated stairwell and walked up a flight, so that we were on a landing where no one else was."

    facepalm.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL, yeah, wonderful idea - let's follow the guy who just got handsy with me to a secluded stairway. After all, he PROMISED nothing BAD would happen!

    Good ninja moves blocking him out, but next time you might not be so fortunate. Let this be an inexpensive lesson for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A more pertinent lesson can be found here.

      Delete
  3. "... and then shot his hand toward my lap. I was angry, but I still didn't leave. He then convinced me to follow him to an even more secluded spot, and long story shot, sweetie, nine months later, there you were!"

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've learned now, after the five hundredth or so iteration on this site, that I should never follow anyone when they say "Nothing bad, I promise!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Read the last sentence in this paragraph. It's NOTHING bad..I promise! Nothing bad at all!
      Vaginal blood farts

      Delete
    2. I already know not to go anywhere with you anyway :P Although now apparently I need to learn not to read anything you write, either. So many lessons...

      Delete
    3. Well he technically wasn't lying. He probably thought it was a GOOD thing to do in a secluded area

      Delete

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