1/18/2012

Change Your Profile. It Is God's Will.

Email Sent in by Andrew:

Hello yes I know I am a guy but I feel I should tell you that your profile is not really the best at picking up chicklets. I could list what is wrong with it but it would break my keyboard. Instead I will suggest that you remove your profile from the site until you address its suckyness.

The first big sucky thing is that you are a guy other than me. First mistake.

That out of the way you look like a stalk of wheat. Like a SNACK. Get out of the way of your betters!

Secondly and most importantly you appear to have forgotten that core belief of all guys… (Thessalonians 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.) I mean I said it while walking to the merry go round of life over and over, but oh my god man!!!! You owuld've forgotten it completely! CHange it! I sure would….

Thirdly and most importantly all you have to do is write me for more tips and I can help you line by line but there are charges involved. If it's wrong and wrong again then I can help you bests I can…..

John

11 comments:

  1. "But there are charges involved"
    Like buying me dinner and a movie, and maybe some sexual favours, you know. All in the name of helping you fix your profile of course! And no im not gay


    Well ok you have to give it to the guy for ingenuity at least :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think we have the first nomination for strangest email of 2012. I would agree with Mia, but...bible verses? Strange.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tim Tebow uses online dating?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Meh, the bible verses often go along with the strange in my book.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sending another guy on a dating site to get him to change his profile is weird enough, but even weirder is that he's so unclear on what he wants Andrew to change. John seems to want Andrew to put the bible quote on his profile, I guess, but why him? Did he send a similar message to the 99.9999% of other guys who don't quote Thessalonians 5:18 on their profile too?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Why go to all that trouble to pick up chiclets? Just buy a new pack.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The funny thing is that this isn't the first "bad email" where a person writes to criticize a profile only to then pitch their "profile improvement" services. There was one on this site about a year ago that tried the same thing minus the bible quote

    ReplyDelete
  8. Everyone know that the Thessalonians were a bunch of assholes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. *knows

    My phone is such a damn Thessalonian...

    ReplyDelete
  10. How does one look like a snack, unless they dress up as a giant potato chip?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm with Mia - lots of latent homosexuality here. Nobody would pay for help from someone who sends emails such as this.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.