Story Sent in by Alexandra:
My first date with Jerry was supposed to be dinner and drinks, but he called me up just before it and asked me, "Hey, want to do something a little different?"
"I'll meet you where we agreed, but I'm going to add something extra-special to the evening."
I was up for anything. Almost. As planned, we met up just outside of the restaurant. He gave me a hug and said, "Get in your car and follow me. We're going a little way out of town."
"Something you won't believe. Friends of mine, guys and girls, will be there. We're going alien hunting. Do you have a flashlight?"
Assuming that he was telling the truth, that other people would be there, I didn't see any harm in going. I'd have my car, and it sounded ridiculous, but fun. I followed him about 20 minutes out of town and we parked behind a small line of cars.
We jumped out of our cars, and I grabbed a flashlight from my trunk. Two other people, a guy and a girl, were standing by a nearby car, and we went up to them. Jerry clearly knew who they were.
They greeted us, and I introduced myself. Jerry informed me that one of his friends had an alien implant and that he (the friend) had it on good authority that the aliens were going to land in a nearby field that night.
The couple led us down, into the field. On our way down, Jerry turned to me and said, "Since this might be our last night on earth together," and then tried to kiss me. I pushed him away and he asked, "What's wrong?"
I replied, "I just met you and we're hunting aliens in a field. That's a lot farther than I'd usually go with a guy on a first date. Don't push your luck."
He hurried ahead to his friends, and ignored me for a short while.
We joined a group of four more people. They were crouched behind a rock and told us that they had seen all sorts of strange lights in the sky.
Jerry crept closer to me as they described them. He went to hold my hand. I slipped my hand away, but patted him on the shoulder. He went for my hand again. I slipped away once more. He whispered in my ear, "Aliens are coming. We have a better shot if we're making out."
"A better shot at what?"
"Living. Breathing the free air of tomorrow. Having children someday. Watching them breathe."
I laughed. Someone shouted, "Quiet! There they are!"
Everyone looked across the clearing. I saw nothing but darkness, although the stars I could see through the clouds were beautiful, if a little blotted by city light.
"Where?" someone asked.
I asked, "Which of you has the implant?"
"Me," said a tall guy with glasses. "They're coming to get it back tonight. It stores my memories."
Jerry grabbed my ass. I yelped. Someone said, "Shut up!"
I whispered to Jerry, "Seriously, I'm having a good time out here, but stop with the touchy-feely stuff." He tried to kiss me again, and I whacked at him with my flashlight.
"Oh my God!" he yelled, and several voices said, "Shut up!" "Dude, quiet!" "You're going to scare them away!"
He yelled, "Did you see what this bitch just did? I let her tag along and she won't give me any play!"
Implant guy said, "Seriously, Jerry, you're going to scare them away. Shut the hell up."
"Not until she leaves," Jerry said, "If I can't have her then none of you will! None of you!"
Tired of being overwhelmed by his immaturity, I said, "Fine!" and trudged back to my car.
Someone said, "Why'd you send her away? I liked her." That was nice to hear, but Jerry was a lunatic, and I didn't want to be around him anymore.
When I made it back to my car, I heard several of them screaming, but I'm sure they were just fooling around. I drove home, and I didn't hear from Jerry until the next day, when he sent me an email full of expletives, telling me how much better than me he was.
It ended with the line, "Oh, and if you're wondering if we met any aliens last night, WE DID. WE DID AND YOU DIDN'T! HAH!"
If they seriously did, and if a guy like Jerry was our representative, then I'm sorry but we're doomed.
Story Sent in by Alexandra: