1/26/2011

In Other News, Clothing Retailers Report a Belt Shortage

Story Submitted by William:

Brianne and I sang in the same choir. When we all went out together as a group, after a performance, I thought that it would be a good chance to get to talk to one another.

We spoke, and had a good conversation. Curiously, at one point she asked me if I liked leather straps. The first thing I thought of, of course, was sex. I'm not into s&m, and so I told her, "Not sexually."

She laughed that off and said, "Me either," and we let it lie. Strangely, though, after I made it home, and even after arranging a date with her, it was all I could think about.

On our date at a restaurant, she excused herself a few times to go to the bathroom, early on. I asked her if everything was okay, and she said that it was.

After we ordered food, she disappeared twice more. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but her time in the restroom was seriously eating into our time at the table.

She came back after a fifth bathroom visit and I asked her, again, if she was all right.

She said, "Yes," and pulled a small leather strap out of her pocketbook. It had some serious chew marks on it.

"I chew leather when I'm nervous," she said, "Have since I was young."

I wanted to be supportive, and so I asked her, "How can I help you feel more comfortable?"

She picked up her strap and chewed it, right in front of me. "Sorry," she said, "I can't help it."

I asked her if there was anything that I could do, and she said, "Spending more time with you might help, but I'm going to be really nervous for a while."

I liked her, and she seemed to like me, so I decided to go on another date with her. At the time, I didn't realize what I was getting into, but you have to understand that she was a very kind person who just happened to become very nervous.  Ending things just because of one little quirk seemed silly.

On our next date, she came over to my house and we watched a movie. She seemed fine, although she disappeared a couple of times.

On the date after that, we went to her place. She cooked me dinner. In the middle of it, she excused herself.

I felt bad that she was likely very nervous in her own home, and I went to look for her. I knocked on a door that I thought was the bathroom and called for her. No answer. I opened the door and turned on a light.  It was stupid of me, and in retrospect, I was snooping.

Hanging from nails in the walls were hundreds, hundreds of belts and leather straps, all variations on brown and black, and all chewed into oblivion.  I could almost hear horror music creeping in, and I quickly turned off the light and closed the door.

I made it back to the dining room before she returned.  My first question was if she ever sought professional help for her leather-chewing habit.  She said that she had when she was younger, and that it helped her for a year, but then she went right back into the habit.  She then excused herself again.

It was at that point where I felt that it was more than I could handle, and it was seriously affecting the quality of our time together.  We had a nice rest of the night, interruptions to chew leather notwithstanding, and we parted without a problem.

The next time I spoke with her, though, I told her that I probably wouldn't be interested in pursuing things with her any further.

10 comments:

  1. Favorite line: "We had a nice rest of the night, interruptions to chew leather notwithstanding, and we parted without a problem."

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  2. I half-expected her to start chewing on anything made of leather the OP was wearing...

    Lulu (formerly athpty)

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  3. I understand that she had a bad habit, but the fact that she kept all her chewed-up leather straps NAILED TO HER WALLS is too weird. Also, it's just silly not to seek help for a habit that obviously interrupts her social life.

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  4. I'm not into violence against women at all, but you should have 'belted' her.

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  5. Dude, it probably would have been less awkward if you'd just let her chew the straps in front of you. I bet if you accepted her, she'd be less nervous, and wouldn't need to chew the straps as much.

    I mean, think of the self esteem issues she must have.

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  6. You should have brought her a rawhide chew toy its healthier and good for the teeth too! It only lasts a few days though.

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  7. @Corinna

    You know from experience?

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  8. Meh, I can run with this... what you do is this:

    1. get her bite sized chew toys, little strips of leather that are an inch long and a quarter inch wide.

    2. Chew yourself.
    3. Let her Chew.
    4. Slowly get her more comfortable with you.
    5. Patiently wait for the leather chew to dissapate.

    Unless you don't want to spend the time to normalize the poor creature...

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  9. I hope she doesn't get nervous when giving blow jobs

    ReplyDelete

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