Rebuttal Post: Someone Skipped Chemistry Class

("James," the subject of Someone Skipped Chemistry Class, has submitted his own version of events on that date.  James says: "Please keep our names to the pseudonyms written in the original post.  I have no desire to humiliate anyone: only to clear the record.")

Rebuttal Story Submitted by James:

Rachel and I met, much as she says.  "Quiet and a little awkward" is one of her many generalizations and uninformed statements.  Contrary to her belief, I am gregarious.  The fact that we don't travel in the same social circles does not force the conclusion that I am "quiet and awkward," much as her own behavior does not necessarily imply that her friends are boisterous shocks of screaming excitement.

As she has said, I asked her out after a philosophy class.  In her defense, she was charming and seemed very interested in learning more about me, as I also felt about her.  We did indeed go to a local Mexican restaurant for our date, and I did offer to pay, but here the tale diverges.

She thanked me, and I picked up a menu.  She then asked, "Were you just staring at my breasts?  Please don't."

I put the menu down and said, "I did not just look at your mammaries," and I said it in a very obviously joking tone, despite the statement's truth, "And if I had, then I'm sure I would have meant it as a compliment."

I smiled at her, but she said nothing to that and picked up her menu.  I said, "I'm just kidding around.  I didn't look at your breasts, and I'm sorry if it seemed that I did."

"Can we stop talking about it?" she asked.

She came off as touchy, and so I changed the subject.  "Have you been here before?  Do you want some recommendations?"

She said, "Sure," and so I pointed out a few items on her menu.  More silence on her end.  I wasn't sure what to say until after our orders were taken.  I asked her what she wanted to talk about.

"How are you doing in philosophy?" she asked.

I said, "I'm looking forward to the upper-level courses."  She nodded and didn't volunteer anything further.  I asked, "And how is it treating you?"

She sighed loudly and said, "Fine, okay?"

Clearly I had hit a nerve, but I had no idea how.  I asked her, "Is everything okay?  We could talk about something else.  Endangered species, if there's ever such a thing as a benevolent dictator, Venezuela..."

"James, I–" she stopped herself.  Something was very obviously amiss.

I asked her, "Rachel, please tell me what's wrong.  Did I offend you?"

She gave me more silent treatment.  I volunteered, "I'm planning to go to the Middle East this summer."  She laughed dismissively to herself, as if she thought me stupid for even having the audacity to be breathing near her.  I asked her, "What will you be doing over the summer?"

A shrug.

I said, "Have you been to the Middle East?  It's safer there then the media would have you believe."

"I haven't been," she said, looking away.

Our food arrived, and I told her, "I'm glad to be here, with you."

No response.  I gave up and tried my best to enjoy dinner, for which, as we seem to agree, I did pay.

Once we left the restaurant, I asked her if she wanted to take a walk (it was November, so I guessed that she wouldn't go for the plan) or if she wanted to go to a cafe, or if I could walk her back to her residence.

She said, "I'm just going to go," and left me there, without explanation or goodbye.

The e-mail, which I won't quote again, was correct, verbatim.  Perhaps it was immature of me to send it, but she only had to sit through five seconds of reading it.  I had to sit through over an hour of her behavior, and I wouldn't have felt right unless I told her what was on my mind.

Grade-schooler indeed.

(See Rachel's original post here.)


  1. Hmmm... it's amazing how the exact same events could elicit two completely different versions of the truth.

    So, who do I believe? I'm going to have to go with Rachel's version. Something about his version just doesn't sit right with me. There's no way that Jason could have acted so maturely during that entire date and then send such a childish email afterwards.

  2. "So, then I says to the president..."

  3. I AM SO EXCITED!! Jared: This is our first rebuttal from the "bad date," is it not?

    I don't care who was right, and who was wrong. Both accounts are valid in the eyes of the writers, so both accounts are "true" in that sense.

    Hopefully more dates will come forward and offer their perspectives on "what really happened."

  4. Fail. You come off as the same arrogant person that Rachel depicted. Rachel's description of events is probably off just like every post on this site, but you are remarkably consistent in both stories. It is really fun to see a rebuttal post.

  5. It is the first rebuttal. I hope to see more.

    There is enough in common to both stories to make me think that there were misunderstandings on both sides. Both accounts likely contain the factual, but certain things (the "mammaries" comment) could be meant one way by one person and taken another way by the other.

    End of the day, however things were said or meant, they weren't a good match for each other. Better to find out on date one.

  6. Hey, "James?" I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that she was acting like you had "hit a nerve" because most women do not appreciate being told that they should be flattered by you treating them like a sex object.

    When a woman catches you staring at her breasts and calls you out on it in a way that makes it clear that she does not appreciate you doing it, the proper response is not "NO I WASN'T AND IF I WAS I WOULD HAVE MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT." The proper response is to apologize and not do it again.

    You're lucky the date didn't end right there. You're even luckier that it didn't end with you getting a face full of pepper spray. You are coming off as a creepy, entitled neckbeard.


    If someone pepper sprayed me for looking at her at the start of a date, I'd call the police and have her charged with assault and battery.

    I'm sorry for whatever horrible, traumatic event must've happened to you in your past that would cause you to react to men with violence.

  8. God, I've been waiting for this! An actual rebuttal! XD

    Not entirely sure who to believe, but I have to say James comes off as self-righteous and entitled in both of them.

  9. I'm inclined to James' recollection of events, only because I know women like Rachel & they tend to be way too dramatic & self involved. Their version of how events happened is usually skewed & self serving.

    But I'm with Nikki on this, a rebuttal, I AM SO EXCITED!!

    Oh and Chaobell, seriously? Pepper spray? What is wrong with you?

  10. Jared,

    I'd like to go on record about how awesome the rebuttal rebuttal post is. I love seeing the difference in two people's accounts of the events. You must do something to encourage more of these. It's amazing the effect that one thoughtless or simply misunderstood comment can color the entire experience.

    As for James, well clearly he made some mistakes, but everyone makes mistakes, and it sucks to be written off entirely for it. Also, he admitted that the e-mail was immature, so it sounds like he learned something from this experience. I don't get that impressions from Rachel.

  11. @mistasturge

    Thanks. The more word spreads about the site, the more of these we'll likely see, and the more we'll all be laughing about it. I'm all for having more of these.

  12. Jared, why did you stop posting my date stories?

  13. @Pk

    Send me an e-mail. I don't recognize your pseudonym/user ID.

  14. Thanks....for the rebuttal mammaries

  15. All we need now is for them to channel the spirit of their dead waiter and it'll be like Rashomon.

    "Wooo.... I brought them breadsticks! They didn't tip! They were both dorks!"

  16. @mistasturge

    He says "perhaps" it was immature. Sounds like he didn't learn any more than Rachel...

  17. Bro's before ho's. I got your back James.

  18. I am also far too excited about the beginning of rebuttal posts, and I am very much team James. She sounds like she learned nothing.

  19. Theres 3 sides to every story. Hers, his and the truth.

  20. I'm inclined to believe James' side regarding the "Quiet and a little awkward" comment. I was labeled as such throughout high school, but only by folks who didn't know me at all and presumed, therefore, that whatever they weren't personally around to witness must not exist (such as, say, me having other friends).

    However, Rebecca's side of the story sounds more plausible with everything else. The way that James counters it fits -far- too well with the exact order of events, like it was scripted. I'd expect, for instance, a few other events James mentioned that were completely missed in Rebecca's account, and vice versa.

    One tip: the word "mammaries" should -never- come up in conversation on a date, in -any- context, from -either- side. It's a keyword to ruin the evening. KF

  21. I think I would have sided with James had he not sounded like such a tool in his intro paragraph...

  22. I'm usually biased toward the guy being the nicer character, and the events both seem to be relative truth. James isn't convincing though...

  23. Sirplaysalot- I think I'd be a bit icy in my into if I found a story badmouthing me like that on the internet.

    I'm inclined to believe they're both telling the story true to themselves.

    I suspect both of them came away thinking it was a bad date. It does make me realise that some of the stories on this site can be quite self-serving.

  24. I was gonna say this is just like Rashomon, but I got beaten to that one.

    Remembering word-for-word conversations days or weeks after the fact is nearly impossible, so I'll call that a draw and assume neither is completely correct.

    That said, I believe Rachel's version. The email and the mammaries comment fit much better with Rachel's description of James as shy awkward, and very immature. It just doesn't make sense that he'd be a perfect gentleman on the date and then write that email, as he claims. Either way, learn from it and take it as a hard lesson in what not to do.

    That said, it was great to finally have a rebuttal! Let's hope it's not the last!

  25. This could be just a bad date, no fault. However, James was kind of immature to send the email. If he didn't want to see her again, dont call her. It kind of shows that he was the more immature one.

  26. Idk i think both sides are fabricated a little, somethings don't add up with james but on the other hand if She was being completely ignorant and didnt like him and was rude why would she sit threw the dinner, make him pay then walk off afterwoods. That would make her just as much of a bee-otch! But at the same time i could see them walking out and her telling him 'i think i'll just walk back home' and him asking where her where she lives and saying ''Oh i'll walk you im going by there anyway''... Idk, wish people could just man-up and be honest.

  27. I think that his passage seems alot realistic than hers. The irony is that if, you read between the lines, you can see alot of the place where he went wrong. I think it only "Matches up too perfectly" because he's specifically responding to only what she said.
    I'm suspicious of accounts where people are made into caricatures. For example, talking about mammaries out of the blue seems bizarre. Saying it as a playful response to "were you looking at my breasts" makes alot more sense. And it makes more sense that he'd ask if she'd ever been to the middle east than just say that she should come.

    That said, I definitely believe that he wasn't super gregarious. For example, he Take his answer to "how are you doing in philosophy" He gave a terse answer that didn't answer her question and didn't give her anything to work off of.


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