He Rents One Out

Story Sent in by Melanie:

Before we met in person, Rory promised that he had something "really special" to show me on our first date but that was all the info he gave me. When we ultimately went out for our dinner date I asked him what the big surprise was. I was expecting a funny story, flowers, or some other clever date idea.

His response? "My friend has two asscracks. And tonight you're gonna meet him."

I said, "Why would I want to do that?"

He said, "Because having two asscracks is awesome."

I was grateful for his thoughtfulness but I wasn't really into the event. After dinner I told him that I had to go home.

"But my friend! I really want you to meet him!"

I said, "Maybe next time. I'm not feeling so great."

I slipped away and didn't go out with him again. So I guess that was an opportunity missed.


  1. My peeps are going to have a field day with this one...

    I bet Rory had no "friend" and that he was the one with the sacral dimple.It's a real thing,I googled it.Melanie went home and was able to sleep well that night since visions of but cracks didn't haunt her...Rory is still looking for his better half.Oh,snap!And remember,crack is whack!

    1. You are braver on the internet than I am Melanie. I will add this to the list of things not to look for in a date or on Google.

    2. Ah! Thank you! I once dated a girl that when she bent over it looked like she had 3... er... openings. I didn't know there was a name for that.

  2. [after reading the whole thing] whaaaat?

  3. Feels like hitting a bum note.

  4. I tend to be really blunt about this kind of stuff. I don't make up excuses, I say straight forward what you're doing is inappropriate/weird/fricking strange and I'm leaving. If you never tell them, how will they know? Maybe they didn't realize how creepy they come across.


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