Don't Be Latte

Story Sent in by Kenneth:

Stewart's profile said that he made the best lattes. I like coffee a lot and so I wrote him to inquire about it. He invited me over to his place for a cup, no strings.

The latte was weak at best. But when he asked me how I liked it I told him it was good. He offered me another cup but I told him that I was limiting my coffee drinking and that one was enough for me.

He then stood up and said that he was going to wash his floor. I figured that meant he wanted me to leave but he insisted that I stay. So we chatted while she mopped his floor and once he was done he asked me if I wanted another latte.

I told him that I had really had enough and then he said, "I'm going to wash my floor again!" and so he did. I asked him why he was washing his floor a second time and he said, "I just want to wash it!"

It was clear that there was some sort of correlation to me refusing a latte and his washing of the floor. But I couldn't make sense of it. The fumes from his soap cleanser were invading my brain so I told him that I was going to leave.

On my way out - you guessed it - he offered me a latte again. I said, "No thanks, and you don't have to wash your floor because of it. I don't see what one has to do with the other."

He ushered me out and said, "Everything!" and then slammed the door behind me. And thus ends my one and only experience with the latte guy.


  1. I think that perhaps Stewart has ocd.I have it and yes,one thing does have to do with the other thing and so on.It has to do about being in control of the situation so that if you feel as if you have no control over something,you create a situation where you do have control.Stewart may not make the greatest cup of coffee but his floor is so clean you could eat off of it.One has to think about the real issue here however...Op went over a strangers house and it got weird for him...shocker.He is lucky the coffee was not drugged and that something worse did not happen.Stranger Danger people!

    1. Right on both counts: OCD -- a method and manner to try to control a frightening world; going to some random dudes house for the first meeting to have beverages of any kind -- not encouraged, in fact, how you end up badly hurt.

      Maybe this one ain't funny, but maybe it can be a cautionary tale.

  2. Welcome OP in, like, what up, I make a mean Latte,
    I'm just pumped, just washed my floors with a fresh mop

  3. He sort of reminds me of a cat. You know how they wash themselves when they're offended?


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