The Little Engineer That Couldn't

Story Sent in by Ashley:

At dinner, Charles blabbed on and on about how he was the best worker in his office. He had been promoted twice (once from "junior engineer" and then once more from "assistant project engineer"). The first time he said it I guess I was interested. By the time he said it a dozen times more I was dozing off.

He must have noted my lack of interest because he wrote a complicated formula down on the back of his napkin and passed it across the table at me. "Go ahead and solve that if you can."

I said, "I can't."

He said, "So maybe I should be promoted again! Perhaps to 'project engineer' or even 'senior project engineer!' Now go ahead."

"Go ahead what?"

"Promote me. Say, 'Charles, I promote you to senior project engineer.'"

I said, "Charles, I promote you to senior project engineer."

He pointed at the napkin and said, "Could you write it on there and sign it? I'm going to bring it into my bosses tomorrow so it'll be a sure thing."

I'm a florist, by the way. I didn't think that my words would mean much to Charles's engineer bosses and I told him so. Still he pressed and pressed on the subject and so I gave in and wrote, "Charles has my recommendation for senior project engineer." I even signed it.

He took the napkin and said, "My bosses love hearing reviews and recommendations from commoners. This weekend I'll take you out to dinner anywhere you want if they approve this. Thank you so much!"

He went ahead and paid for our dinner that night and I never expected to hear from him again. And I didn't.


  1. He built himself the highest pedestal to sit upon until reality kicked it out from underneath of him...His greatest accomplishment?The cat playground he constructed for his 20 cats,at least they understand and respect his genius.

  2. Up to a point, I was just thinking that he's not too bad, but just a bore in the eyes of OP, not quite a BAD date. Then he said: "My bosses love hearing reviews and recommendations from commoners"

    Commoners?! COMMONERS!!?

    What a prick.

    1. Well, that's more polite than 'peasants,' which is what I usually call all y'all...

    2. Well at least the poor peasant girl got a nice meal,he could of just let her have his table scraps.Perhaps his highnASS even let her have cake...

  3. I can just see him approaching his boss...

  4. Is he actually the assistant project engineer or is he the assistant to the project engineer? I'm intrigued. I've never been on a date with Dwight Schrute before!

    1. I'm available Thursday between 3:07 and 3:24.

    2. Will there be beets? I'm only interested if there are beets.

    3. Beets, bears, battlestar galactica...

  5. I dub thee Sir Charles of Douche's Bag


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