Look Me in the Why

(What did Oscar-winning screenwriter Charles Randolph (The Big Short) teach me about writing? Find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Alicia:

At one point during lunch with Gilbert, I apparently folded my arms.

"Could you not fold your arms?" he asked me.

I dropped my arms but asked him, "Why don't you like me folding my arms?"

He replied, "Would you mind not asking me why I don't like you folding your arms?"

I dropped the subject. It was weird, sure, but I was able to move on and so we talked about other things. Then he said, "Would you mind not looking at me when you talk?"

"Why?" I asked.

"Would you mind not asking why?"

Something was really weird about this guy. I picked up the conversation and was sure to not look at him, as he requested. Then as I spoke he said, "You can look at me, now." I looked at him for a little less than a minute and then he said, "Okay. Look away again." I spoke a bit more and he said, "Look at me, now." I did and then he spoke but soon interrupted his talking with, "Now, look away."

I might have been the weirdest date I'd ever been on. We didn't go out again.


  1. Gee, Alicia. You're more patient than I could be. I would have left that dude to sort out his control issues on his own time.

  2. I was thinking he's somewhere on the spectrum

  3. He was seeing how obedient you were. You literally did everything he told you to do like a trained dog. He was taking the piss out of you by the end of it.

    1. That was my thought - he's training her like a dog. OP bucked the trend, as usually the Golden Retriever is the smartest blonde in the room...

    2. Bingo. And you failed, sorry.

  4. well I do think this is strange and- wait could you not read my comment right now? oh and don't ask me why.

    OK now read my comment. anyway he's a weirdo.

  5. Nobody thought of the Old Spice commercial?

  6. This played out like a MadTV sketch


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