Track Meat

Story Sent in by Junior:

Olivia and I decided to talk a walk in a local state park for our first date. As we hopped over some rocks she slipped and fell to the ground. She screamed. I knelt to take a closer look. Aside from some scrapes, her leg didn't look terrible, although I have no doubt that she was hurting.

I offered to help her hop back to the car and drive her to a doctor. She yelled, "No! I know what happens next! You eat me!"

I looked at her, a bit stupefied. She repeated, "That was your plan! You brought me out here to try and eat me! Someone! Anyone! Help! This guy's trying to eat me! He's gonna eat me!" she screamed and screamed some more.

I thought she was kidding but she screamed every time I tried to help her up so I just left her there, screaming away. I hope she found someone with less of an appetite to help her out.


  1. I thought girls liked to get eaten. True enough in my experience.

    She was found by Chunky Horse.....and then never found again.

    1. Lies... Chunky Horse only eats oat, crabapples, and kitten souls. Lots and lots of kitten souls...

    2. Note that I didn't say he ate her. Lord Chunky Horse would never sully his pallet with a patchouli drenched hippie with hairy arm pits screaming "Jesus, what's a girl got to do to get eaten around here?!" That's beneath him, or will be once he mounts her.

  2. In her defense, she WAS out on a date with Hannibal Lecter...

  3. Sheisty fake I-just-want-to-help-you-up guys with their nefarious plans. Looks like the date really dodged a bullet there!

  4. Whatever happened to the old "emergency call" to get out of a bad date? Psycho

  5. Does she have a prescription for conjunctivitis?

    Oh she thought he might have the munchies?


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.