Restroom Break

Story Sent in by Clifford:

I was out to dinner at a nice place with Lorraine when I excused myself to use the bathroom. The restaurant's restroom was a single-person situation and when I finished doing my business I opened the door.

Lorraine was there, and she almost fell into my arms. "What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I have to go," she said, then slipped in and shut the door behind herself. I thought it was weird, almost as if she had been listening in on me as I went to the bathroom. But that would be odd, so I dismissed the idea and returned to the table.

Shortly after Lorraine returned she asked me if I wanted any more water. My glass was half full. I told her I'd be okay until the waiter came back around. But Lorraine flagged a waiter down and asked him to top off my water.

"Why are you so concerned with me having enough water?" I asked her.

"In case you need to use the bathroom again."

I said, "I won't need to use it again if I don't pound my water."

"You really should drink more water," she said, "Then you'll need to go to the bathroom again."

I asked her, "Why do you care if I use the bathroom again?"

She said, "No reason."

"Because you really seem into the idea."

"Maybe I am."


"I don't know," she said, then asked, "Is tonight the World Series or does it start tomorrow?"

I took the chance to change the subject and the conversation turned more normal. She requested a few times over the rest of dinner that I drink more water, but I ignored her. At one point, I told her, "I'm going to go to the bathroom," just to see her reaction. She looked really excited but then I said, "Actually I think I'll be all right," and she looked really disappointed.

I still don't know what her deal was, but I didn't ask her out again so I'll never find out.


  1. Oh, she's into water sports?

  2. ^ Oh yeah, you nailed it. This chick wanted a golden shower so bad she could taste it. (There's some imagery I won't be able to scrub from my brain for the rest of the day.)

  3. @ JMG - Damn dude, you need to get some sleep. I love this site and everything but getting up at 3:00 AM just to keep me happy is unnecessary.

  4. It's okay. I photosynthesize.

  5. First date is a little early to whip out the kinks. That's more of a third date kind of thing.

  6. @ JMG - Not at 3:00 AM you don't.

    @ ladydyani - I like your style. 3rd date, you can just be yourself.

  7. At 3am, it's 9am somewhere.

  8. And then there are some people that are at work at 3am. Unfortunately that someone is me right now.

    My first thought was she wanted to do something to his food or water but it doesn't seem very likely.


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