Story Sent in by Reeta:

Jesse was a one-night stand who I met on Plentyoffish. He took me out to dinner and we had a good time together. The following morning, I woke up in an empty bed. The first thing I thought was that he had left. Well, that's what one-night stands are all about. But then I smelled something burning. Toast?

I sat up, sniffed the air, and looked around. The air was smokey. I called out, "Jesse?!"

My closet door burst open. I screamed. Jesse was in one of my sundresses, and completely dolled up with too much blush and enough lipstick to make it look like he had eaten a raw horse heart.

"It's the Jesse show!" he announced.

I screamed some more. He slapped his hands to his face and said, "Something's burning! Must be me!"

I threw a pillow at him and told him to take off my dress and makeup and leave. I ran for the kitchen and found toast on fire in the toaster.

"I thought that was a nice touch," he told me as he pulled his pants on and wiped off his face. "Burning. You know. Burning love."

"Could you just leave, please?" I asked him.

He made for the door awkwardly, like he was wearing a pair of my heels. Turns out he was in a pair of my heels. "Give those back!" I yelled.

I practically shoved the half-naked crazy guy out of my apartment. Then I opened all my windows and turned on my fans.

A day later, one of my lipsticks found its way into my mailbox. He must have taken it with him and returned it. Thanks. I threw it out and never heard from Mr. Burning Love again.


  1. Having done my fair share of dating off of POF, I don't discount this one bit. Thank the gods above I live with my mom, who discourages me from doing this shit.

  2. Well, that's one way to go.

    Also, I agree with Snarkastic. What's up with your mom trying to keep you safe and shit OSW? Cockblocking all those potential STDs you are trying to collect. GOD!

  3. This is one of the many reasons...you know, besides rape and murder...that you shouldn't take someone home that you just met. I dated a guy for four months and he never did know exactly where I lived. LOL

  4. @outstretchedwings: Mother is going to keep you right here under her wing. She won't let you fly, but she MIGHT let you sing...

  5. ^ Remember, you can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!

  6. The snark is strong is strong in this one. Lol

  7. I have sat on this site for hours at a time reading stores, and I have to say this is the first one that made me laugh so hard. Good job.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.