Dinner with Eva

Story Sent in by Gerald:

It was an otherwise pleasant first date with Emilia when she said in a low voice, "I have a confession: I've been to two psychics and they both independently said that I was Eva Braun in a past life."

I asked, "Do you believe them?"

She said, "They both said it years apart and they didn't know each other. It's conclusive."

I didn't think so, but what did I know? I asked her if she remembered anything about her life during World War II. She said she remembered attempting suicide and that Hitler was nice to her. She also mentioned fond memories of dogs.

Then I asked her, "Did you support, you know, the whole mass extermination thing?"

She said, "Well, yeah. Hitler was my boyfriend."

I told her, "I'm a quarter Jewish. Is that cool?"

She thought about it for a few moments then said, "I guess it could be... I don't know. In my dreams I speak with Hitler. I'll have to ask him."

I said, "Now that the war's been over and you're not Eva anymore, maybe you can make your own decisions?"

She said, "It doesn't work like that. I still have a historical part to play. But I'll ask Hitler the next time I speak with him and see what he says. He probably won't like it, but he's been harder to contact lately. We'll just have to see. I'm sorry."

I never found out if it was okay, because after I brought dinner to a speedy end, I never heard from Emilia again. Thank goodness.


  1. "After that, we went for a walk in the park. She kept trying to step on every goose we came across. Definitely a Nazi."


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