The Gift of the Moron

(I spoke to Breaking Bad's Vince Gilligan at a Q&A last week. What did I ask him? Click here to find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Bonnie:

After we met, said our hellos, and started on a walk through a park, Eddie asked me, "Did you bring me anything?"

"Like a gift?" I asked.




"Yes. Do people usually bring you gifts on dates?"

He said, "All the time." We were approaching a few stores. "Maybe you can grab me something up here."

I suggested, "How about we just enjoy each other's company?"

He said, "That's not a gift."

We sat down to a casual lunch at a cafe and he asked me twice if I'd pay for it. I had to ask him, "Are you giving me a gift? This all sounds a little one-sided."

He laughed and said, "Men have given gifts to women for hundreds of millions of years. Least one of you can do is return the favor. But I guess you fail that test."

I took the high road, paid only for myself, and "had someplace to be" and took off.


  1. First: ^ WTF?

    Second: OP, you should have pushed him in front of an oncoming bus. Then you would have given a gift to the rest of the world.

  2. That must be the reason why a terrific catch like Eddie is still single. All those women just keep failing his tests. :-D

  3. Also, who knows what dark and demonic species he belongs to that's been around for "hundreds of millions of years." Perhaps he mistook the OP for whatever variety of amoeba he would perhaps rightly expect a gift from.

  4. Men did for women in history because they weren't allowed to do it themselves and why? Men. We had to fight to have the freedom we have now. This man is a flat out idiot who apparently thinks his dates need to make up for history or his version of it through him. Just another user.


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