Would You Like to Play a Game?

Story Sent in by Rachel:

This was my first date ever. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness. There is sometimes some leniency with dating in the religion as a whole, but my particular congregation taught that dating was merely to hammer out the details before getting married. It wasn't a casual thing. Dating wasn't for teenagers, it was for adults who were ready to commit themselves to another God-fearing adult. Even when teenagers wanted to hang out as friends, it was in groups of three or more. I realize how utterly ridiculous this all sounds, but it helps paint the picture of the rampant naiveté this policy creates.

My friend Clark, who I had been close friends with for about three years, wanted me to come over for a movie while his mom was out of town. We were both 16 and had flirted a bit in that time, but couldn't express any serious interest for several more years without being counseled by our church leaders. Still, we were feeling a little rebellious and I figured it would be fun to watch a movie without a chaperone (awww yeah, we got some rebels over here!). I took him up on his offer. I didn't have a car or license but he did, so he picked me up and drove us back to his place.

It was the middle of the day (can't be out too late!), but my first suspicion that something was amiss was that all the curtains were tightly drawn in his living room. We picked a movie, but he said first he wanted to play a game. I can hear all the red flags popping in your heads, but in my innocent mind I assumed he meant Uno. Seriously.

He pulled out three VHS tapes (this was the late 90s) and set them in front of me and said, "Pick one, and whatever is on it, we do it."

A tiny red flag popped up, but I had only ever known him to be a good Christian, so I figured nothing on the tapes would be that bad. I picked one, and he popped it in. It didn't look like anything to me. It was scrambled porn, but I didn't realize that until I saw a bare leg and heard a moan. I was startled but didn't want to seem like a coward.

I told him I couldn't see what was happening, so we couldn't do whatever it was. He said, "That's okay. Maybe you could show me your chest?"

I know you're thinking I'm an idiot. And I agree. I took off my shirt.

I was wearing the ugliest bra in the world, because I didn't know underwear could be anything but functional. Wide white straps, four buckles, and full coverage. Still, Clark said, "Wow. Very nice."

He excused himself and I threw my shirt back on. He was gone for a few minutes, during which time I tried rationalizing my actions and praying (yes, praying).

He returned with no pants and an erection. In retrospect, it was impressive, but not at the time. It was terrifying.

He said, "Do you want to touch it?"

I weakly responded, "...No."

He looked seriously disappointed, and sighed. "No, huh?" He turned and walked away, and was gone for several more minutes.

I was frozen in place, but when he came back (with pants on) I asked him to drive me home.

We didn't talk for quite some time, and I left the congregation a couple years later. We found each other on Facebook years later and found that we both left the congregation, are both supporters of sex education at a young age, and can look back on the "date" and laugh.


  1. And here is why my personal hell would just be reliving puberty: the unrelenting horniness and total confusion, a recipe for either getting in over your head or becoming kinda rapey like your friend Clark there. But at least he can laugh about it now , eh?

    As a recovering J-Dub myself, Rachel, congrats on leaving the faith and helping other kids have healthy sexual selves.

  2. Congrats for finding your own personal truth, OP. No condemnation from me. At least you are aware of your naivete. That's all I ask. :)


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