Open and Shut

Story Sent in by Francine:

In his emails, Joel made a big deal about how much he valued honesty in a relationship. Who wouldn't? He also talked about how much he didn't like playing games. Well neither did I.

We met in real life and walked down a quaint downtown area. He put his arm around me and said, "So, I'm all about honesty and openness."

He had already mentioned some variant of this statement in his emails about a dozen times. I didn't have long to wait for the punch line, though:

"So what's the shortest route into those pants of yours?"

I asked him to remove his arm from around me. He said, "How does that help me?"

I said, "I think this date is over," and I left him there and then.

He wrote me an email in which he asked me why I was dishonest and why I liked to play games. "You'll never get laid with that attitude," he warned me.

Noted and disproved since.


  1. Super douche! That must have been really annoying spending all that time getting to know him for him to pull that. I wonder if it's ever worked for him though.

  2. "There is no short route. The one and only route is for you to behave like a proper gentleman until I decide, in my own time, that you're worth it."

    (Or, fill in your own requirements.)

  3. He could take the shortest rout, but that path involves a can of mace and a swift kick to the testicles. Better to take the long way.


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