Lovers' Creep

Story Sent in by Andrew:

Stephanie held my hand from the beginning of our first date and onwards. It was creepy. I didn't even really know her that well. As we walked she asked me what my favorite love song was and I told her Street Fighting Man by the Rolling Stones. She looked it up on her phone and played it at max volume as we walked.

"That's a nice song," she told me when it was over. "Here's my fave."

She played Like Someone in Love by Björk. After wanting to rip my ears off for however long the song lasted, she then reached for my free hand with her free hand and attempted to hold that hand as well.

It didn't work out so well and she finally gave up. We walked past a village green that had an old cannon monument to commemorate some battle and she cried, saying, "Why do they have a monument to fighting? I just don't understand people."

At lunch she put her straw in my water (that already had my straw in it) and drank it down. I suppose she thought that a drink with two straws was romantic.

After lunch she told me that there was a bridge out of town where lots of lovers had apparently leaped to their deaths. "Want to go there with me? Now?" she asked, "We can pretend to jump. But not really."

I made some excuse and went on my way. Never spoke to her again.


  1. Was her name Mortisha?

  2. Sure, it always starts with "pretending" to jump to your death, but next thing you know THIS happens...

  3. This story had me cracking up all the way through. Good for you, OP, to be wise enough not to go to the jumping bridge.

  4. I call to mind the Pink Floyd lyrics: "Was it love? Or was it just the idea of being in love?" Some women feel the need to force all that Rom-Com stuff on. I've dated a few of those. I was married to one for about 2 years. I'm older and wiser now. Well, I'm older anyway.

    OP, you could have let her take you to lovers leap, then fake her out.

  5. Yeah - she was busy daydreaming about her idea of being in love. I reckon a boy who she was in love with either died or ran off on her suddenly. She was still in love, and you're the rebound guy who looks a bit like him.

    Good call to dump her. Rebound drama queen stuck in a daydream.


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