Coyote Ugly

Email Sent in by Patrice:

Hi Pats.

You might wonder why I've been out of touch. It's because quite simply I don't know what to say to you. You are a skier. I am a landscaper. You like seafood. I also like it. You like wearing bright colors. I like imagining shoving you into a cave full of hungry lions where not even God could save you. That thought terrifies me. It may be best if we have a parting of the ways. Before I find a cave of any hungry animal (coyotes maybe around here) and do the deed I dread. Or maybe you have a better idea.



  1. This is a lesson to all you skiers out there (outside of the Olympics, is that a real occupation?), don't bang the gardener 'cause he'll end up wanting to kill you in an oddly biblical sort of way. He'll share a shrimp cocktail with you beforehand though so you have something nice to look forward to.

  2. Got yer cave right here, Robert. Shove away.


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