That's Not All That's Dank

Story Sent in by Katherine:

Josh and I had a good first date. We went out to dinner and even sneaked around in some hotels. After we parted ways, I headed home.

I was in my pajamas and watching The Departed when he called me up. I answered the phone and he said, "Hey, I had a good time together. Want to go out again?"

I did have a good time, and although he was calling back a bit soon, I didn't really have a problem with it. I told him, "Sure, when were you thinking?"

He asked, "Now. I can pick you up."

It was close to midnight. I was in my pjs, in bed, with a good movie on. We had just seen each other. It was out of the question. I told him that I was flattered by his interest, but that some other time in the near future would be better.

"Um, okay," he said, "You didn't have a good time?"

I said, "I had a great time. A second date so soon after the first might spoil things."

He replied, "Fresh meat never spoils. Where are you? I can pick you up."

Creeped out, I said, "I'm going to bed. I'll talk to you soon."

"No! Your meat–"

I hung up. He called back and left two voicemails. The first one said, "Just let me know when I can pick you up. I'll be awake for a while." The second one said, "If you've been in bed, would you mind putting on some lotion before we hang out? Bed-smell can be dank."

There was no second date ever.



  1. It puts the lotion on its skin and then it puts it in the basket!!!!

  2. Moe: Seems nobody wants to hang out in a dank pit no more.
    Carl: You ain't thinking of getting rid of the dank, are you, Moe?
    Moe: Ehh, maybe I am.
    Carl: Oh, but Moe; the dank. The dank!

  3. You KNOW she take care of herself... she got all these lotions, and powdahs...

  4. Sounds like HE has some kind of powdah

  5. Steve, have you been looking in my nightstand drawer?

  6. At least he showed the crazy and perverted side early on before you wasted anymore time. Goes to show though that first impressions aren't always correct.

  7. What does "and even sneaked around in some hotels" mean? Is this some secret code you young people use nowadays?


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