Mushroom with a View

Story Sent in by Tony:

The morning of my date with Linda, she called me up to say, "You were in my dream last night. You were growing mushrooms and sticking them to people's faces."

I said, completely joking, "That's something I would do, for sure."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, prompting me to finally say, "I was kidding."

Linda said, "I think we should cancel–er, something came up and I can't make it, today. Good luck with those mushrooms." Then, she hung up on me.

For the record, I never grew mushrooms or had much to do with them, except when they appeared in salads or pizza. I texted her a single question mark, and she texted back a smiley face. That made me think she was just kidding around, and so I texted her, just to be sure, "We still meeting at 12:30?"

No response to that, so I showed up to the restaurant where we had planned to meet, just in case. She didn't show, and I called her, but there was no reply: just her voicemail. I left her a short message and returned home.

That night, a large pizza with mushrooms that I didn't order was delivered to my house. I paid for it and ate it, all the same, and I wrote to Linda, "Thanks for the pizza! It was great," but she never replied.


  1. OP, if she cancelled the date, why would you go on it? Also, how did she know where you lived to have a pizza delivered to you? Also, why would you pay for a pizza that you didn't order?

    1. I was thinking the same thing. OP seems like a doormat and a little desperate.

    2. Because it's PIZZA! What could be better than sitting on your couch, hungry and not sure what to do for dinner. Then the doorbell rings and ...booyah, pizza! I think it would be classified as a minor miracle.

  2. So obviously when a girl says the date is cancelled and you dont even get an answer to your text what do you do? Go there anw just in case she changes her mind. And then post the story all over the internet

    Im curious to see what the people defending the OP ?(if any) will say.

  3. Yeah, I'm not seeing how a smiley text negates the whole "we should cancel" but I guess the OP was just super excited about going out with a real life woman and was incredibly optimistic. The pizza thing though, that would have pissed me off and there's no way I would have paid for that and then thanked the crazy mushroom obsessed sender.

    Oh, and I'm guessing she knew where he lived because they were set up by someone who gave her the information or they knew each other in a casual way and she already knew because he told her. Or maybe she just looked it up on the "Who grows mushrooms in your area" database.

  4. You come off as desperate and a little creepy. If a woman cancels, you cut your losses and move on. You don't text and call, and go to the restaurant "just in case".

  5. Linda was awesome. She totally sidestepped the question mark with an emoticon.

    "Johnson, where's that report you promised to have on my desk this afternoon?!" :-)

    OP was definitely creepy.

  6. alright - let me get this straight...the OP is creepy, but the woman who calls off a date because she had a dream about mushroom aided assault isn't? just want to make sure i got this down.

    1. No one said she wasn't. You may be unaware of this, but more than one person can be creepy at the same time! *gasp* It's such a novel concept.


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