Lights, Camera, Unattraction

Story Sent in by Larry:

Marlene and I planned a simple first date: coffee at a neighborhood cafe. When we met, inside, she gave me a one-arm hug in greeting. Her other hand was wrapped firmly around her cell phone, its camera lens pointed at me. I smiled, thinking that she was taking a picture.

"I'm taking video," she said, "Just behave normally."

"Why video?"

"To have a record." She slid ahead of me and ordered herself a mocha latte. I ordered a plain coffee and paid for them both. She thanked me, but kept the camera rolling the entire time.

We picked out a table and sat across from each other. I asked, "A record of what? Us meeting? Like, to share with our future kids?"

She laughed. "Slow down there, bronco. It's in case you try anything."

"Like... try to make a move on you? Here?"

She said, "You never know."

I hadn't been planning anything nefarious, and her presumption that I might have been was insulting. I said, "Would you mind trusting me and turning the camera off?"

"I can't do that."

"Okay," I said, and pulled out my own phone. It also had a camera. I pointed it at her, but didn't actually take video, as that would've been, you know, creepy.

She became agitated at once. "What are you doing?"

"Taking video of you. You know, in case you try anything."

"Stop it. Put it away. Are you some kind of creep?"

My turn to laugh. "What if you put the moves on me? A guy has to protect himself."

"Fine," she said, then took her latte and busted out of there, like I had mortally insulted her. We didn't go out again.


  1. I think both of you have no future in amateur pornography.

  2. That is one dangerous woman. This nut job will cry rape at the drop of a hat.

  3. I believe the correct response is "challenge accepted."
    Them proceed to dildo her with her own camera phone.

  4. I wasn't aware "dildo" was a verb. Learn something new everyday.

  5. I would have actually filmed her. She could well have retaliated with some malicious nonsense out of spite.

    Nut job.


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