Something in the Water

Story Sent in by Jake:

Alice and I had planned to meet in a park. She showed up to our date nicely dressed, but looking as though she had run a marathon. She was sweaty all over, her skin was flushed, and she was out of breath.

I asked her if she was okay. She responded that she had just run about three miles in 25 minutes. When I asked her why, she asked me if I'd grab her a water.

While she sat on a bench and caught her breath, I ran to the closest convenience store I could find and grabbed a giant bottle of water for her. When I returned, she took the water without a thank-you and drank it all the way down.

"Any more?" she asked.

I didn't have any more, but I said, "Do you want to come with me to buy more?"

She was still breathing heavily and shook her head. I took off to buy her one more bottle, and when I returned, she still didn't thank me and drank it most of the way down.

"Any more?" she asked again.

I pointed out to her that she hadn't finished her current bottle. She poured the little that remained out on the ground and again asked me, "More?"

She seemed a bit more composed, if insane, and I asked her why she had run three miles right before our date. She replied that she had just felt like running. I asked her if she was up for dinner (where there would be even more water awaiting her), but she said that she didn't feel good and wanted to go home.

We parted, and we never went out again.


  1. Ok, WTF? Was she running from the police? Was she training for a marathon? Was she from another planet made of water and just couldn't deal with our harsh climate? What an insane attempt at a first date!

    1. come on Archie, As if in other stories the dates are perfectly normal... Most of the time dates are bat shit crazy on this website and you are surprised today?

    2. But she wasn't even trying! She could have at least poured the water all over her Flashdance style or something!

  2. It's obvi she was running from Chunky Horse. I'm sure he LET her get away, though, since there is no escaping Chunky Horse. He probably just wanted to chase someone for a workout, to keep in tip-top Chunky Horse shape...

  3. OP was a bit of a doormat there. It was nice of him to get the first bottle but the second was just being taken advantage of.

  4. Piss in her empty bottles, give her the helicopter dick, then be on your merry way.

    1. don't forget to WH000! Ric Flair style.


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