Underworld: Devolution

Story Sent in by Carol:

Tom surprised me on our dinner date with movie tickets. As we finished our meals, he said, "I bought us tickets to a movie, tonight."

I hadn't expected to see a movie with him, and I wasn't a big fan of movies on first dates. But he said he had already purchased them, so I asked him, "What movie?"

He reached into his pocket, opened his wallet, and pulled out close to a dozen movie tickets, each two for a different film. "Any one you want!" he said.

"You bought all these tickets?"

He said, "I wanted to surprise you, but didn't want to wait until any of them were sold out. So which will it be?"

He probably spent close to $140 on all of them, if I were to guess, although I didn't count exactly how many there were. I said, "I feel bad about you buying the other tickets if we're not going to see the other movies."

He said, "You're worth it. Which do you want to see?"

I hadn't seen The Artist yet, and it would've probably been out of theaters soon (this was in early February) and so I picked that one from among his various options.

He asked, "That the silent film? Pick another."

I said, "But you have two tickets to it, and you told me to pick."

He said, "I didn't really think you'd want to see it. Come on. Pick another."

I said, "Okay, The Descendants."

He glanced at the tickets that he had in his hand, like he couldn't believe that he had actually bought tickets to The Descendants. But he had.

He put the tickets down and said, "We're going to see Underworld: Awakening."

"I don't want to see Underworld."

He tore up all the other tickets and said, "Too bad, we're going to see Underworld."

"I'm not going to see it."

He gave me an angry look and said, "I just bought all these tickets for you. The least you can do–"

I replied, "Which I didn't ask for, and you asked me to pick a movie. If there was only one that you wanted to see that badly, then why didn't you just buy yourself a ticket to that?"

He said, "You must not have a lot of dating experience."

I replied, "You don't know a thing about me, and I don't need a lot of dating experience to have some common sense."

The conversation died around there. To his credit, Tom paid for our dinner, but we said a hasty goodbye and thankfully, I didn't have to go see any films with him at all.


  1. Soon, these two youngsters will have a quality cinematic option.

    Chunky Horse: Unbridled Vengeance > Underworld: Awakening.

  2. What's up with people doing unasked favors and expecting the other party to go on their knees out of gratitude?
    I admire OP for not being manipulated.

  3. i heard that in underworld, if you look real close, in the opening credits you can see a chunky horse hanging himself.

    1. Lies. Chunky Horse cannot be destroyed, even by his own hands...

    2. Or hoofs.....or chainsaws

  4. Okay guys, I think this Chunky Horse thing has played itself out. We can stop now.

    HAHAHAHAHA just joking! Chunky Horse 4eva!

    1. I like you Amanda. Here I was getting all upset that you were going to rain on our own little private meme, but then you pull it back and give it the full thumbs up! Long live Chunky Horse!

  5. Wow OP, what a horrible date! If you had wanted to go see Underworld, it would have seriously undermined your credibility. I think your date was the only person to see that one in the theater.



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