They've Already Replaced My Brain with Authentic Folgers Crystals

Email Sent in by Ben:

Dear Ben:

Sorry it's been a long time since I wrote you. I ended up scratching my computer screen with a pen and then I tried to fix it but made it worse. I inked all over my keyboard and so the whole thing had to be trashed and I lost all your info.

My computer is in a landfill now somewhere and aliens will come down years from now and find it then locate your contact info and if you're still alive then they'll beam you aboard their ship and shove my old computer up your ass but they think they'll be returning it to you, not violating you with it, like 'oh my god this computer has this guy's contact info, it must belong to this guy' and so they will try to fit it everywhere but it fits up your ass best. So sorry abut that in return...

So how've you been?

With grace,


Ben says, "I don't remember ever talking to this girl before."

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.