This Little Piggy Went to Boston Market

Story Sent in by Angie:

I met John at a MeetUp for local cooks. He asked me out on a first date at a restaurant, "And who knows?" he said, "Maybe we can cook for each other sometime if things go well."

First date went great. He invited me to his place for date number two. I made a soufflé, grilled vegetables, and rice pudding (old family recipe).

When I made it to his place, I saw that his spread consisted of store-bought donuts and Boston Market. The giveaway was the Boston Market napkins and obvious Boston Market food.

"I made potatoes, turkey, and rice," he said, pointing to the store-bought goods.

I joked, "Are you sure this isn't from the store?"

"No!" he screamed, "It's not from the store! It's never from the store! I can cook! I can cook!" He grabbed a handful of mashed potatoes (with his bare hand) and smashed them onto my plate. "Eat!" he barked.

I ate as quickly as possible, told him that I had a thing to go to, and left. When he asked me if I'd leave the leftover soufflé, veggies, and pudding, I told him that I couldn't. He muttered, "Bitchy bitch," under his breath, but I didn't want to antagonize him any further.

At future MeetUps, I ignored him, and he didn't have much to say to me.


At ROFLCon today? Come say hi! We'll trade bad date stories over a game of Nyan Cat.
LATER: Great meeting you, John, Martha, and Ryan! I'll likely drop in again tomorrow for a short while.


  1. Why did OP even bother staying? I would have turned right around and walked out the door.

  2. I was thinking the same thing too.

    I would have been out of there the moment he flared up.

    Also, I don't understand the menu either. OP brings a complete meal and he supposedly was supposed to cook a full meal as well? The whole thing seems odd.

    1. Struck me as odd too, but the point seemed to be not just to eat, but to impress each other with cooking prowess. Such as it was.

  3. Why on earth would you eat mashed potatoes that he puts on your plate with his bare hands? Disgusting!

  4. Aha! HE'S the @$$hat emperor!

  5. Yum, Boston Market!

    I'd say, "Ooh great, I love Boston Market, thank you!"

    And stuff myself silly, then leave forever with a belly full of delicious Boston Market.

  6. Phew - not only would I have not eaten those filthy potatoes, but wouldn't even have a sip of water in a crazy person's house ! These dates are scaring me.


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