Sometimes, It's Not Sunny in Philadelphia

Story Sent in by Ethel:

John and I had already been out together a few times. He owned a duplex with a back deck that had a spectacular view of the surrounding mountains. He asked me over to his place for midnight drinks, and said that we could sit in lounge chairs, talk, and watch the sun come up. It sounded great, and so I packed a small bag for my little overnight at his place and drove over with high expectations.

It started out great. We had a couple glasses of wine each, talked about our various creative projects, past experiences, and so on. It was great, at first.

As I had a feeling I would, though, I nodded off after a couple of hours. He poked me and said, "Hey. Don't fall asleep."

"Sorry," I muttered, then did my best to carry a conversation. Still, it was to no avail. I zonked out again, and again he roused me.

"Don't fall asleep. You said you'd stay awake to watch the sunrise."

"Mmmm," I said, or something probably similar. That's the last thing I remember until the morning. When I woke, it was cold, I was shivering, the sun was up, and John was nowhere to be found.

I stood, stretched, and made for his back door, thinking he was inside. It was locked. I knocked on it, called out for him, and waited on the deck as the birds chirped away. I knocked again, and there was no answer. I called him on my phone, thinking that maybe he had gone out to grab something for breakfast. No answer. My bag was inside his house. I knocked again.

The door swung open, and a very angry John stood there. "What the hell do you want?" he asked.

I said, "What's wrong?"

He laughed. "Oh, nothing. You just promised to stay awake to watch the sunrise with me. Here," he said, throwing me my bag, "This is all you wanted. Good luck out there." He slammed the door shut. Confused, sad, but ultimately relieved, I went home.


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  1. Just to be clear, this didn't take place in Philly, as there are no mountains here. Unless you are counting Manayunk or the trash dump as a mountain...

    Funny TV show though!

  2. Didn't take place in Philly, as far as I know. Still, the title was just too good to pass up, so here we all are.

  3. hey! just to be clear, i have a SPECTACULAR view of the sunrise from on top of my trash heap. (ahem, i mean manayunk).

  4. So the last title and this one are coincidences?

    1. If the next title has anything to do with Cheese Steaks, I think Jared has SOLD out to Philly Tourism Board!

    2. and "just to be clear," the philly tourism board does exist:


    3. Nrrdcore and I would happily take Jared out for cheesesteaks, if he was ever so emboldened as to leave his Southie haunts...

      Unless he showed up wearing some kind of Bruins, Patriots, or Red Sox paraphernalia. In that case, we wouldn't hesitate to feed him to the many roving packs of Philly Sports Fans, and RUN the other direction...

    4. Bruins? Feh! A REAL Philly troll shows up wearing a Sean Avery Rangers jersey. A real Philly Troll with a death wish shows up in a Crosby...

      And remember people... if it's got Cheez Whiz on it, it's not a cheessteak, it's a roll full of whiz.

    5. Huh. Yeah. I guess they are a coincidence. OR ARE THEY?

      Thanks for the cheesesteak offer. I'll likely take you up on it. OR WILL I?

  5. Speaking as someone who lives in Alaska and has never been to Philadelphia (east coast, pffft. Cheesesteak sandwiches though...love) this COULD have taken place where I live.

    And just so we're clear, what a childish tool. And yes she should have drugged him and let him wake up naked, covered in honey, surrounded by bears (Parent Trap style).

  6. I think when you said you were "ultimately relieved", you hit the nail on the head. You deserve someone a little less self-centered and a LOT more accepting of human frailty. He should have been thrilled that you were even willing to TRY to stay up all night just to see the sunrise!


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