Mace: It's What's for Dinner

Email Sent in by Rochelle:

i live under your stairs and see you coming and going. sounds like a creep but i am really just the guy who lives a floor below you and i reocgnized you on here. i like it when you get your mail when you enter and leave. now i wonder if you would like to take our relationship to the next level. saying hi when you pass me next time in the hall wouldn't kill you. neither would a smile. as it stands right now you just walk past me as if i am nothing and that hurts. i always looks and smile at you. maybe you are sad and distracted but i can do a lot to cheer you up if only you would give me the chance. this sad chance. a hopeless chance? we'll find out soon when i take what it mine.

- the man from under your stairs


  1. I certainly hope this was sent to the police before it was posted here.

    1. After being a loyal reader for several years, few things on this site still creep me out.

      This is one of those times my eyes went O_O and I got that icky-creepy-terrified, look-under-your-desk-to-make-sure-no-one's-there feeling.

  2. Man, this girl sounds cold! Poor guy has to ask his neighbour via dating site to get a "hello" from time to time.
    Creepy, obviously, but not altogether police-report worthy.

  3. Gavin de Becker has a great book called "The Gift of Fear," which gives guidelines to help determine the actual threats posed by people with whom you have any sort of contact.

    Beyond that last sentence up there, this letter displays several of the warning signs of a potential stalker (or worse), according to the book, including forced teaming ("our relationship", "we'll find out"), loan sharking (he smiles at and notices you, and is "hurt" when you don't reciprocate, because he expects it is his due for those contributions), and typecasting (you are "sad and distracted," since you don't respond to him; yeah it couldn't be anything other than that, so he can now cheer you up, right?!).

    Even just those alone would concern me, though he began with what I think is an attempt at humor/charm, but that last line tells me he's not just some socially awkward guy, but instead possibly a person of concern. I would, at the very least, take a look at this book or another resource that addresses this issue, and get some idea of how to respond (or not) and which options best work to extricate you from a potentially hazardous -- or at the very least, awkward and uncomfortable -- living situation.

  4. I agree that this needs to go to the police, and the person who sent this e-mail needs to be informed that the police are aware of him and that he will be a suspect if anything happens to the OP.

    If he asks why or protests, don't insult him (that might set him off), just tell him to read Schrodinger's Rapist, ask him how it applies to himself, and never to talk to you again.

  5. The apartment complex needs to be notified too.

  6. That last line is especially of concern. I hope you are alright.


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