The Wack Swan

Story Sent in by Jacob:

Vicky and I were walking around a pond after our first date – a Sunday brunch. On this day, we were treated to a rare sight: two swans, among the geese, gliding together over the pond's surface.

"Swans! Oh my God!" Vicky said.

They were large and beautiful. I had never seen them on that particular pond before. Next thing I knew, Vicky, who had been in a pair of jean shorts and a top, ran from my side and splashed into the water.

"Swans! Swans!" she shouted at them.

"Vicky!" I called after her.

She was unheeding. Geese honked and flapped from the water to the banks. The swans didn't honk at all, but as she approached them, flopping through the water, they took off, themselves, for parts unknown.

"Come back!" she shouted after them, "Stupid swans! Come back!"

Soaking wet, she dredged herself out of the water and we walked over to each other. "Man," she said, "Swans are dumb."

I asked her, "What were you planning to do if you caught one?"

She said, "I don't know. Cuddle it or something."

First and only date.


  1. She wore jean shorts and a top to Sunday brunch?

    1. OMG, I was about to say the same thing. Maybe it was brunch at the trailer park community center or something.

    2. Agreed. Who wears a top?

    3. Unless it has the word "tube" in front of it, I ain't interested...

    4. brunch doesn't have to be a fancy thing. where i live, brunch just means you can go drink on a patio during the day. us city folk.

  2. She's really lucky she didn't actually catch one. Swans are very strong and notoriously bad-tempered - it's quite likely her attempts to "cuddle" one would have landed her in the hospital.

    1. I asked her, "What were you planning to do if you caught one?"

      She said, "I don't know. Get pecked to death or something."

    2. It's been said that a great many dogs that chase after cars barking, have no clue what they would do if they ever caught one.

    3. I actually got bit by a swan when I was a kid. I had some food in my hand that you feed ducks, etc, with like they have at zoos. Well, Mr. Swan was apparently pretty impatient and tried to eat my whole hand. Luckily it didn't hurt much. I think he was just trying to get my attention, not actually harm me.

  3. looks like somebody missed the perfect opportunity to pull out the billy madison quotes. what losers. frealz.

  4. What are you looking at... Swannnn?!! did i quote that right? Haha


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