Story Sent in by Melinda:

Tim and I met on a dating site and had been going out together for nearly two months. Cindy, a local friend who I hadn't seen in a while, messaged me to ask if I wanted to hang out with her and meet her new boyfriend, coincidentally also named Tim. I suggested making it a double date.

We all met up in front of a sidewalk cafe. I embraced Cindy and introduced my Tim to her and other Tim (who I'll henceforth call Timothy). Tim nodded a hello to Cindy, then shook hands with Timothy.

Tim asked, "Your name is also Tim?"

Timothy joked, "I know, right? What are we going to do?"

Tim jumped into fighter's stance. "There can be only one!" he yelled, then pounced on Timothy, knocking him to the ground and nearly hitting the poor guy's head against a hydrant.

Tim pummeled at Timothy with his fists as Cindy screamed and I tried to pull Tim off. Timothy, however, had a few tricks of his own, and in seconds, he was on top of Tim, hitting his head repeatedly against the pavement. "Are you done?" Timothy shouted, "Are you done?"

Cindy and I were screaming at both of them to stop it. Timothy stood and brushed himself off. Tim leaped from the ground at Timothy's legs, I guess to try and take him down again, but Timothy landed a few kicks, and it was over. Tim was on his back on the ground, groaning.

Timothy said to Cindy, "I don't know about you, but I'm leaving." He turned and left, with Cindy at his heels.

I helped Tim up. He asked me, "Where does he live? I'll kill him in his sleep, I swear."

Tim was banged up, but he'd be fine. I asked him why he attacked Timothy, and Tim replied, "He started it."

Timothy, in truth, had done nothing of the sort. For the rest of our short time together that day, Tim made plan after plan (out loud) about how he was going to ruin Timothy.

Our relationship didn't last much longer.


  1. I have the impression that the whole thing was a joke gone wrong (fake "fight" accidentally turning real).

    1. I fail to see how tackling somebody to the ground and punching them could be seen as a joke.

  2. So... You actually stayed with him for some time after this? I would have left him lying there.

  3. Tim's an idiot. Bastards be crazy.

    Even if Tim's initial actions were intended as some kind of joke (which I am incredibly skeptical of, given the severity of his initial actions and his later obsession with taking Timothy down; also, Tim never claimed he intended it as a joke), you simply *do not* tackle a stranger to the ground the first time you meet them. Your sister, maybe, if she's into that kind of stuff. A stranger, no. Period. Full stop.


    That said, Timothy doesn't come off particularly well, either. He should've stood back and called the cops after throwing Tim off of him. He certainly had the right to defend himself, but I don't really think self-defense includes the right to hit your downed opponent's head repeatedly against the pavement. Doing something like that to someone's head could kill them. Obviously, Timothy was acting in the heat of the moment, after being attacked unprovoked, so I don't want to condemn him based on this one incident. But he could have reacted a lot better - certainly seems that he has some aggression issues of his own.

  4. Fortunately, with an old fashioned name like Agnes I never have this problem.

    Timothy could have reacted better, but I'm going to put WAY more blame on Tim. And I second Baku on how quickly you should have dumped him.

    1. My name is Lythande... I've never had this problem, but I actually think I might Highlander-out like Tim here if I did.

      I agree with your portioning of blame and agreeing with Baku-chan.

    2. Wow! That's an even less common name! Are you named after the Marion Zimmer Bradley character, and/or have you ever read those books?

    3. I have an old-fashioned first name as well, so I go by my middle name, because when people hear my first name, they almost always say "Oh, that's my grandmother's/great-aunt's/other elderly female's name too." Apparently my first name was very popular two or three generations ago.

      On the plus side, if I ever meet anyone with the same name and I want to take their power in a Highlander-esque way, I'm sure I could take an 80 year old.

    4. Haha, yes I am! My dad is fan. :) And you're the first person to recognize the name, so you get some internet points.

      I can say I've never actually met someone named Agnes either, though. Old-fashioned is right. Rare names FTW!

  5. Tim was right to defend his good name from this imposter. Just like in highlander Tim wanted his power. So he took it. To bad Tim fights like a infant

  6. And neither girl called the cops. Pity, I think Tim has issues that require court-ordered psychiatry.

  7. I fully support Tim. The only reason I'm so powerful today is specifically BECAUSE I challenged anybody I met with my name and took the power from their beheaded carcasses in a surge of lightning and 1980s-style special effects.

    Also, Jared's title is The Win.

  8. Silly Scott Pilgrim wannabe. You're supposed to fight your current girlfriend's ex-boyfriends, not the current boyfriend of Timothy's girlfriend. Rookie mistake.

  9. Awesome reference lime coconut


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