Survey Says: Moron!

Story Sent in by Tamra:

Al and I met at a bar and sat together in a booth. About 40 minutes into the date, it was pretty clear that after a beer and a half, the guy could not hold himself together.

"Sssshho," he slurred, "Y-yoou evahr been raped?"

I replied, "No. You?"

He laughed and said, "Nobody rapes a man!"

"Tell that to some prisoners."

"I wasn't in prison!"

I said, "Surprising, given your manner."

He said, "I had a girlfrien' who said she wasssh raped!" He laughed.

I smiled and said, "I'm going to leave."

He sat up quickly and banged the back of his head against the booth's headboard. "Don't go! Ow, my head now hurtssss…"

I left him there and headed out of the bar. A few people were standing in groups outside. Not far from the door, I paused to call a friend to ask if I could meet her at her apartment.

It was a fatal mistake, as Al stumbled out of the bar and threw himself at me. "Oh, good," he said, "You're still here. We can talk about whatever we talk about."

"I'm going to my friend's house, Al." I pushed him off of me. "Good night."

A random guy who I had never seen before jumped over to Al, put his arm around him and said, "Hey buddy! How's it going?" The guy then looked at me and shooed me away with his hand. I smiled in gratitude and took off for my car. Behind me, I heard Al say to the guy, "I know you, you're on Family Feud!"

My friend and I had a good laugh about it, but it frightens me to think that he's still out there, dating around.


  1. I have only had my ears and eyes raped by your disgusting conduct...

  2. "It was a fatal mistake..."

    "...but it frightens me to think that he's still out there, dating around."

    The OP seems to be a bit melodramatic. The guy was a lightweight and acted like an asshole once he was drunk. I'm not saying she was wrong to leave when she was uncomfortable, but she acts like this guy is some kind of danger to society because he gets drunk easily.

  3. LOL I agree with ya Baku. I expected the story to end something like this when she wrote the "fatal mistake" line.

    "He then pulled out a metallic object that looked unmistakeably like a gun. Before I had time to react he pulled the trigger. I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. My first instinct was to grab at the area the bullet had entered. I felt something wet, and pulled my hand out and took a look at it. It was red with blood. As shock started to set in, I started to lose sensation and fell to the ground. I started seeing white lights and images of my dead grandmother. I felt myself being pushed upwards. When I turned back to look down, I saw my body. Suddenly, everything went blank. "

    But alas, just another drama queen.

  4. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

    I don't think the problem was the date being a lightweight drinker.

    1. "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts."

      I fail to see where this would apply. OP's date didn't really express any insulting opinion other than "Guys don't get raped!" which could perhaps be chalked up to ignorance rather than being hateful. The rest of it was just him asking/talking about rape without expressing an opinion on it. Not exactly appropriate subject matter for a first date, but not necessarily insulting. Now if he had gone on a rant about "bitches be askin' for it", the yeah...

  5. I'm with Q of U on this one. Definitely not about being a lightweight! She was smart to bounce so quickly.

    1. Again, not saying she was wrong to leave after he behaved like a jackass; I'm just saying that the OP is being a bit over-dramatic. She says it was a "fatal mistake" to wait outside for her ride. I don't know about you, but after reading that, I was expecting a horror story where he tried to rape the OP. When I read that all he did was *gasp* TALK to her, I had to roll my eyes.

    2. Completely agree with you Baku, she probably wanted to spice up a mediocre 'date gets drunk and is a little inappropriate' story.

  6. Who cares about the melodramatics of this story? I admit after i read "fatal mistake" i was hoping for something more than "drunk guy gets out of the bar".

    But the point is this: Finally a girl who left at the first red flag. Yay! No more "try and salvage the date" crap

  7. It's not melodramatic for women to feel threatened by drunk, creepy guys. I'm guessing those claiming it is are guys (like myself) who have never had to be in such a position.

  8. it IS possible for men to be raped by women...at least that's what a guy who accused me of doing it to him said...

    1. There's a sad tale over on Creators Syndicate by a 60-year-old guy who lost his girlfriend after he confessed to her that, after he took Ambien, his psycho ex just happened to show up at his place with beer to talk about settling a small debt, and he passed out then woke up to find "I was having sex with my ex."

      His honesty cost him his valued relationship, his ex left him a little "gift", and he wondered if he could pursue rape charges.

  9. Drunk guy was a creep, OP is a bit dramatic in her description, but did the right thing by leaving.

    But, that Mr. Random Guy who stepped in and distracted the drunk, he might be worth keeping an eye out for! Very cool.

  10. Yeah, that guy was the coolest part of the story. Good psychology on his part.


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