Sweet, Salty, Sour, and...

Email Sent in by Rhoda:

I am not nor will I ever ask you for sex! I am a programmable guy! I will do whatever you want! Whenever you want! I exist just to be a slave to women! This should be music to your perfect woman ears! I will lick the dirt from your shoes and beg for more! GIVE ME MORE DIRT! GIVE ME MORE DIRT!!!

This you will likely welcome, you being a woman. This is exactly the guy that my ex wanted me to be! No sex! No reciprocity! Just me doing everything! Everything! EVERYTHING!!! Just ask me for something and I will snap my fingers and it will be done! I am a guy! That makes me lower than an animal! The way you look in your photos makes me think that you will be a fine slavemaster to the chattel that I am! I will bring and steal you anything and never complain! This should plead you! I offer to be a slave and yet no women have yet taken me up on my generous, selfless offer! What is wrong with all of you? Are you all stupid? If I didn't know better I'd think you were!

Wait I didn't mean it. Please do not punish me for speaking such! What the hell am I thinking? You are perfect and I am a man, so by definition not perfect! Thank you for reading and for giving me the opportunity to serve you my great mistress! O perfect woman!!!



  1. Black coffee has nothing on this guy.

  2. Who'd ever want such a whiny, passive-aggressive slave? Dude can't even be pitiful correctly.

  3. He sure taught all those women readers a lesson, didn't he?

  4. Tell me I'm not the only one who read this not as "bitter & jaded" but a sincere, completely inept attempt at a pick-up by a submissive guy who learned all about how BDSM really works by reading teh Interwebz.


    ...okay, then.

  5. Or we can combine your theories, Kat- he's bitter and jaded AND read about BDSM on teh Interwebz and he thinks that he can disguise his bitterness with the shiny patina of subness.

  6. I think he's practicing a new form of BDSM, "bitter-submissive" - it's kind of like S&M rolled into one.

  7. Churro, it's like the Möbius strip of kink: I'm punishing you by making you punish me, which is making you do what I want by pretending I'm doing what you want. I see myself as scum as a way to blame you for being scum by thinking that of me.... endlessly on, into bitterness and misery.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.