It Takes You 10 Seconds to Leave My Apartment?

Profile Sent in by Cindy:

What I'm doing with my life:

I'm not your average guy! I am a super guy! I can please you in 10 seconds flat, guaranteed. I know the woman's secrets!

During the day I work as a worker in a lighting store. In darkest night I am pleasing women in 10 seconds flat. No, not a joke. I have testimonials written out by pleased women who have been pleased in just 10 seconds! I will be your transparent lover! Don't believe me and enjoy taking forever (and not 10 seconds) to climax! Write me to find out more!


  1. Wow thanks for the unexpected infomercial, Mr. Vibrator! Unfortunately I already own one of your kind. But you know...keep on truckin'.

    Also, there's a Rainbow Dash joke in here somewhere I'm too lazy to find right now.

  2. Can't stop giggling at this one and good one Lime Coconut.

    But the trophy goes to the headline title

  3. But wait!
    Order now and get a 2nd 10 second flat orgasm free!!!! Licking and handling charges may apply!

  4. Silly brony, everyone knows only boys like MLP:FiM.

  5. @CarpeDiemEveryday

    My left breast adjusts her spectacles and informs you she would like to respectfully refute your claim.

    My right breast rolls her eyes and fake snores very loudly.

    My vajeen stumbles around drunkenly, waiving her fist in your general direction and slurs that she'll learn ya a thing or two about something something...what were we talking about again? Ah, there's my pomegranate martini! Nevermind, carry on.


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