Committed. That's the Word for It.

Email Sent in by Jillian:

Dearly made you. You are precious and songs can be sung about you. You are so perfect!

This is message number 5 to you and still no response? You're judging me and yet I do not know my crime. Please write me to at least tell me why you have not written to me! With a reasonable explanation I will go off and leave you alone and not trouble you anymore. Without one then I'm afraid for you and you will receive at least one message form me per day forever! No I'm not insane. I am committed.

So here goes: a message a day for the rest of your life, if necessary. Consider it love from me. Love unrequited is love eternal, do not forget that. I will make you remember so help me G-d and all the angels and swords.


(Jillian says, "Thank goodness the site has a block function. It doesn't let the blocked party know that they've been blocked, so it's entirely possible that this guy has continued to write me daily for close to a year.")


  1. Too bad he'll never realize that his energies could be better spent seeking therapy...

  2. Is it really that hard to just say "Sorry, I'm not interested in you" so that the poor idiot doesn't waste his time and energy on you? You could always block him after that, if he keeps trying.

  3. In online dating the rules are different...No response, is a response.

    When I was online, I got tired of replying to each and every single one of the desperate harlots that messaged me. It had to be in the hundred thousands per day....Wasn't easy, I tells ya...

  4. I think this rule applies to all dating, not just online - ignoring someone to signify interest is something only teenagers do. And maybe people with a really ambivalent sense of what "liking someone" means.

  5. I don't think a simple "Thanks but no thanks I'm not interested" email would have worked on this guy. I've tried that before and unfortunately they just keep emailing asking why or thinking that hey she responded so of course she likes me. Some just don't get it.

  6. As Howie correctly points out, the rules are different with online dating.

    The majority of people would rather have their message ignored, than a 'sorry, im not interested' response. Its mentally easier to think they may be busy/dating someone else, than to have it confirmed they find you unattractive. Also, as BostonGirl points out, you are leaving them an opening to ask why...

    Not to mention the amount of messages you'd have to send.

  7. It's often a not so good idea to let the stalker/psycho types know that you're actually reading their messages, they can take that as an incentive to further pester you.

  8. It seems that too few people out there have learned that unrequited love is the lamest and most pathetic "love" in existence.

  9. I'm with S. and BostonGirl, there are too many people on those dating sites that consider "No thanks" to mean "I want to jump your bones right now!!" So, while it probably is a bit rude to just ignore them, it's also a heck of a lot safer and less frustrating.

    (I actually wrote to Miss Manners once asking for a final verdict on that subject, so far she hasn't answered, at least not in any of her collumns that I've read.)

  10. ^ Miss Manners didn't reply? Rude? or Not intersted in you question? Hmmmm

  11. "You're judging me and yet I do not know my crime."

    OP, maybe you should have just told him his crime was being ugly.

    But seriously, it's not rude not to respond on a dating site. When I write to a girl who's not attracted to me, I actually PREFER for her not to respond since it saves the time and hassle of trying to interpret the tone of her leter.


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