Of Mice and Women

Story Sent in by Dave:

I was on a first date with Kim when she gave me a strange request. She handed me an index card and a black ink pad.

"What's this for?" I asked her.

She said, "It's a surprise. Just put a fingerprint on the card. It's nothing nefarious. Promise."

I did as she asked. She took the card, drew whiskers, a couple of ears, and a tail onto my fingerprint. Presto! She had changed it into a little fingerprint mouse. Awww.

Late the next day, she wrote me a message to tell me that she had a good time, and that she hoped to see me again. Of particular interest was her statement, "Now that I know you're not a convicted rapist ;)"

I wrote back and asked her, "What do you mean by that?"

She replied, "I gave your fingerprint to a cop friend of mine and he told me that you're not a felon or anything. So you pass the test! Congratulations!"

I wrote back and said, "You said it was for nothing nefarious. You lied."

She wrote back to say, "I'm protecting myself. If you have a problem with that, then get lost. Checking to make sure you're legit isn't nefarious: it's smart."

I replied, "Fine. On our next date, I want a blood sample. I want a scientist friend of mine to test your DNA for criminal records and STDs. You know, I have to protect myself."

No response. Weird.

In the news: date 'n dime 'n ditch - thanks, Nikki!


  1. I don't understand why people feel the need to be sneaky? If they would just explain shit and be forthcoming like sensible people they wouldn't look like whack jobs. I like Dave's reaction.

  2. Well I wouldn't have written OP back either because:
    1. Variations on "Nanananana!" as a comeback don't bode well. And,
    2. A smart ass who isn't actually smart (testing her DNA for stds?) is really just an ass.

  3. Her story doesn't make any sense. If he didn't have a criminal record, why would his fingerprint be in any databases to check? The police don't have *everyone's* fingerprints. Besides, if you're going to run a background check on someone, all you need is his name, not his fingerprint.

  4. That's because this story's made-up -- just like 90% of the other stories. AM I TAKING CRAZY PILLS HERE?!? Everyone knows they're made up, right?

  5. I don't. Some definitely push the boundaries of reality, but I tend to err on the side of trusting the OPs. Based on some of the people I've met, most of these stories, sadly, actually do sound very possible. Once the site rakes in enough, I'll insist on mandatory polygraphs.

  6. I usually believe the posts.
    Not so sure about this one, either, though...

  7. what's not to believe about the OP's story? a girl tricked him into giving her his thumbprint and then claimed to have had a cop run it for her. That's believable. Whether or not the girl actually had the print run is a whole different issue and is kinda unlikely. I've known police officers that would run plate numbers for friends which is against regulations. But, sending a fingerprint off for analysis is going to create a money and paper trail the would need some explanation.

    Bluejae- you can do STD testing off of the blood sample he asked for.

    1. I think Bluejae is referring to the statement "Test your DNA for criminal records and STDs." You don't test DNA for STDs. That was the foolishness of the statement. Of course there are blood tests for STDs, but they don't involve examining the DNA of a person.

  8. What eriu ^ said. OP could have worded the come back better, but it's not like it would have mattered much.

  9. "A smart ass who isn't actually smart (testing her DNA for stds?) is really just an ass."

    He meant test the blood itself. Calling people out based on reading miscomprehension isn't too smart either.

  10. I submitted a story that was 100% true once, so I know at least ONE of these stories is real. I err on the side of incredulous belief.

  11. ^ I have submitted 2 stories, so I know at least one of these stories is real. Taco Dave's cuz I lied all the way through mine.

  12. Didn't happen. First, cops don't run fingerprints, fingerprint examiners do.There also needs to be a file, a case number, etc attached to it. Second, it can take a few days (high priority) to a few weeks to get results back. Third, she is no friend of the so called cop because he/she would be fired for using NCIS for personal reasons like this. Liar or made up story.

    1. Good point. But do we know what country this is supposed to have taken place in?


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