But They Are Known to Be Nuts

Profile Sent in by Aimee:

I'm really good at:

…….breaking into graveyards. No joke. I know where all the freshest corpses are. The trick is to find grass just lighter than the rest. It's freshly planted and usually over a new grave.

Do I dig them up? No I do not. I just like sitting near them and can spend hours reading there.

Have I ever seen a corpse? Yes. Too many times. Operational hazard.

Do I ever go into a mausoleum? No. Most are locked and it's a bad idea to go inside, ever since last year.

What happened last year? I was reading behind a mausoleum when I heard a noise like knocking coming from the front. When I went around to the front there was really loud knocking but it was coming from the inside side of the locked door. Haven't been back to that one since.

Am I sure it wasn't a squirrel? Yes. Squirrels don't knock that loud on anything.


  1. Do I like asking questions and then answering them myself? Yes. Does that make me a creeper? Yes.

  2. Are there people crazy enough to find fresh graves to sit beside and read next to? Yes.

    Are there people crazy enough to hear knocking coming from inside a mausoleum and not find someone to open it? No.

  3. Do I know the secret to finding a freshly mowed lawn? Yes, it is the one with shorter grass.

  4. Do I like to grow beets? Yes. I've been known to enjoy the bounty of nature when it comes to beets.

    Is my name Dwight Schrute? I refuse to answer that question. Next.

  5. Do I know how to break into places that aren't usually locked and most often surrounded by waist high walls? why yes I do.


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