The Last Time I Brew Homemade LSD for Science Class

Profile Sent in by Kyle:

My self-summary

You should know that I have bed and darkness issues. When I was little, I believed that a goblin lived under my bed, ready to jump out and eat me if I at all left my bed during the night.

It might sound silly that I still believe it. I still cannot leave my bed during the night no matter where I'm staying. What really solidified it for me was in high school, when I had a friend stay over late since we were working on a project together. She went to use the bathroom then came back and the thing under my bed attacked her. It was brown and shriveled but had razor hooks for claws and ripped her into pieces. It then ate them but didn't get any bigger. It just stayed the same small size.

The police were called but without a body (it had swallowed her chunks whole) there was no evidence of murder. I was stuck cleaning up the blood on my floors and sheets. This has since scarred me and I miss my dead friend.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit

I'm afraid still of darkness and beds.


  1. "I was stuck cleaning up the blood on my floors and sheets."

    That sounds truly awful. Your friend sucks for not helping out and being dead.

  2. Awwww, bloody hell
    ...a young teens awkward first period.

  3. Oh my God get over it, who hasn't lost a friend or relative to a goblin with razor hooks claws when they were younger. You clean up the blood, throw away any body parts that weren't eaten and you move on with your life.

  4. I agree with Sawyer. I mean, if we all let the goblins under our beds incapacitate us like this, human civilization would have collapsed long ago.

  5. And that is why they invented stationary wooden bed frames. To keep the goblins out.

  6. Goblins schmoblins! Everyone knows that monsters under the bed drool and have tentacles.

  7. So cut the legs off all the beds. Problem solved!

  8. Sounds like he didn't paint the hexes right...

  9. @Anonyme

    And can be fooled into attacking pillows instead of you.


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