A Brand New Start of It

Story Sent in by Clarence:

Rose and I were a couple for a little over a year before she had the idea for us to visit New York City together, over a weekend. She had never been, and I had visited only once before. We found an inexpensive place to stay just outside the city, and we made the 10-hour drive together in good humor and with high hopes.

We arrived at the hotel on a Friday night, and made it into the city the following morning. We toured around a bit, and at lunch, she told me, "My friend, Kyle, from college, lives in the city. I'm going to try and contact him."

No problem on my end. I had bought tickets to a show for that night, so as long as nothing interfered with that, I'd be fine.

After lunch, she called Kyle and made arrangements for us to meet him in another part of town. We met up with him over a quick coffee.

He talked a lot about his struggles as an artist and how much he needed money but never looked for a job, and so on. I grew tired of him, and when he offered to show us around his neighborhood, I asked Rose if she'd prefer to catch up with him on her own while I went around to sightsee some more. Rose agreed to that, and promised to meet me at the theatre in a couple hours' time.

Rose didn't show up at the theatre, and her phone went straight to voicemail. Luckily, I was able to sell our tickets (at a bit of a loss) while I kept trying her. Soon, I tried her parents to see if she had perhaps made contact with them. I didn't have Kyle's number, and I was in a panic. I went back down to his neighborhood to look around, but I had no idea where he lived precisely. The only thing I could do was return to our hotel room. I didn't know what to think, but I had a feeling that something awful had happened.

The next day was Sunday. I returned to the city and kept trying Rose. Finally, around one in the afternoon, she called me to ask where I was. I met up with her and found her in the same clothes she had been in the day before. She looked haggard, tired, and not at all herself. Also notable was the fact that she stank of alcohol.

I had a million questions for her, but the first one that I asked was, "Are you okay?"

She said, "No. We need to talk."

I found a nearby Chinese restaurant and we sat down. I ordered both of us something to eat and asked her, "What happened to you?" Was she raped? Was she lost on the streets overnight? Did Kyle try to take advantage of her?

She said, "Kyle and I... we went back to his place, had a few bottles of wine, and... I think we slept together..."

My heart pounded, but no longer with concern. She went on, "...a lot. A lot." She cried and reached out for me, across the table. I didn't take her hand or even move. She continued, "I think he had some friends or roommates there... and they watched us... oh God, Clarence, please..."

I stood up, felt dizzy, then sat back down. She reached for me with both hands. I didn't take them. She sobbed. She said, "I'm sorry" over and over, apologized for missing the play, and babbled on.

It was pathetic, and I was tempted to forgive her, or at least to put it aside until the trip was over and we could talk about it properly, but then she said, "I knew it would happen as soon as we planned the trip."

I asked her, "You knew it would happen?"

"I thought I could resist it, but what scared me was that I didn't want to."

When I stood up that second time, I was no longer dizzy. We hadn't even received our food yet, but with her there, crying her eyes out, I left the restaurant, returned to the hotel, and drove the 10 hours back, by myself. She called me over a hundred times, but I didn't pick up once, and I've never been sure how she made it back home from there. Perhaps Kyle drove her. I hope it was worth it.


  1. This blog's called 'Bad case of the Dates', not 'Bad case of my girlfriend cheating on me.'

  2. According to the submission page, the site also accepts apocalyptic breakup tales. For all intents and purposes, the site defines "date" as "romantic entanglement."

    Back to the story, I think OP's reaction was slightly harsh, but it was likely the only thing he could do.

  3. ^ I don't think it was harsh at all. She cheated on him. That alone would be grounds to leave her. What's more, she anticipated that she would. Disgusting.

  4. I'm with Baku-Chan...She thought there was a chance of it happening, and she took the opportunity to be alone with Kyle. She knew exactly what would happen, and was just hoping OP would feel sorry for her and forgive her.

  5. Wow, this is like A Bad Case Of The Life Experiences, sorry OP/Clarence. I agree with Baku & Gnome. I would've likely reacted the same way, except with way more tears and bawling and wailing and probably.. definately snot nose on the drive back, it would've been ugly.

  6. Go back and read the first sentence. It was *her* idea to visit New York. She wasn't dragged there or obligated to go there. She chose to go there knowing what she would do. Despicable.

  7. Is it wrong that as soon as his girlfriend mentioned Kyle, I figured she wanted to bang him

    And as soon as she mentioned him having friends/roommates, I was surprised when she said they didn't join in

    Also, if somebody cheats on you during the relationship, that means it is over, and you have every right to be a complete ass to them from then on (However, going out of your way to be an ass would be unacceptable, ie leaving her there, not taking her calls, totally cool; going to her place when you get back and trashing it, uncool)

    I miss the days when if a man caught his wife in bed with another man, he had every right to shoot someone

    Also, while this technically not a date, it is in fact a vacation between two people currently in a relationship, which is basically one long date, made up of several smaller dates (going to lunch, going to the play)

  8. I don't think the OPs reaction was harsh at all. She admitting to knowing what she did would happen and she went ahead anyways.

    Kudos to the OP for having some balls and walking away from that skank. He had every right to be a complete asshole to her after what she did.

  9. Just woah... I'm completely on OP's side, really sorry to hear your girlfriend was such a terrible person.

  10. I don't think the OP's reaction was harsh at all either. I could be wrong, but I bet the girlfriend came crying back to OP because Kyle let her know that she was just a booty call to him and kicked her out in the morning. It sounded to me that she was more sorry for herself than she was for the OP, from the way she was trying to get him to comfort/forgive her and kept reaching for him.

    Personally I think the worst part of this story is that they were together for over a year when this happened. They were probably pretty committed if OP had her parents' phone numbers. So that whole time, OP thought they were building something together, while she was still holding a torch for her ex. Just awful.

  11. Jared, the OP essentially got to be a chauffeur so that his girlfriend could cheat on him with her ex (and furthermore, it seems pretty clear that she planned it this way all along). Ditching her in a strange city isn't harsh at all - it's actually the least he could do to make things right.

  12. Maybe this is just the theatre kid in me, but I would've gone to see the play without her. Of course...I can say that NOW, knowing that my novio is safe at work and not possibly wandering around a big city by himself or lying in a gutter, a victim of a random shooting.

  13. That's a pretty harsh story, but I have to commend the OP for manning up and walking away.

  14. I feel for the OP; I have actually met and been with women who were damaged like his ex-girlfriend. Women who think they can sleep with anyone (they can) but still expect their man to stand by their side afterward (won't happen).

  15. This sounds an awful lot like some of the stories I've heard from friends who are now in AA. They go out intending to keep control, but end up drinking and doing really stupid things they only slightly remember and regret afterward. I feel bad for both people in this story.

  16. I feel for the OP, but is it possible the girl was drugged?

    I realize that her statements about knowing it would happen make this unlikely, but I thought I'd bring up the possibility. I just find it hard to imagine someone acting like that while in their right mind.

  17. Metaleaf, she DID seem confused about what, specifically, had happened, but I'm leaning more towards Allison's explanation.

  18. Me too, honestly. Alcohol is a hell of a drug. :/

  19. Breaking up, yes. Poor boundaries, alcohol problem, strong chance that she arranged this in advance, that's a very toxic combination.

    Leaving her stranded a ten hour drive away when she was clearly an emotional mess and might be dependent on someone with incredibly questionable ethics? I am not impressed.

  20. I'm sure she had access to money, the hotel, and a bus, train or plane home.

    No chance I could drive her 10 hours home.


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