5/17/2011

Shag and a Coffee

**Find a peculiar profile online?  Copy and paste it over to abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.  Click here to learn more about it!**

Story Submitted by Tricia:

Greg and I met on a dating site. He wrote to me, and i read on his profile that he liked about five of my favorite authors. Thinking that we'd likely have a lot in common, I wrote him back and we corresponded for a while.

He told me that he was going on a trip to England for a week, but that he'd want to meet for a date upon his return.

The first three days he was gone, he wrote me long emails about what he had seen, and attached photos of various sights. It was great to receive and read them, but after those first three days, he went dark: no emails, photos, or communications of any kind. It was unexpected, but it didn't bother me too much, as I guessed that he was off having a good time in the countryside, in a place without Internet access, or something similar. I looked forward to catching up with him upon his return.

After his date of return, I heard nothing from him for several days. I wrote him, "How was your trip?"

He wrote back, "I'd like to meet and talk about what to do next."

Strange, but we had already established a good dialogue, so we met up at a cafe the following Saturday evening.

He didn't look very pleased to see me, and despite the fact that he paid for my drink, he didn't at all carry himself as if we were on a date. He seemed nervous, barely looked me in the eye, and didn't smile once.

We sat down, and I asked him to tell me about his trip. I said, "I didn't hear from you, so you better have had a good time!"

He replied, as if consoling someone at a funeral, "It was a good time, aside from the fact that I got a girl pregnant."

Not quite the good time I had expected him to have had. "Come again?"

He replied, "I went over there to meet a girl I had talked to online but never met in person. We had sex, and she lied about using birth control, so now she's probably pregnant."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm going to have to seriously consider moving there, now."

He instantly shifted from "cool online guy" to "possibly friend, but probably not." I said, "It sounds like you have a lot going on. We didn't have to go out on this date, if things are so different in your life, now."

He said, "I didn't want to turn down one of the last possibilities I had for frivolous sex," then winked at me.

I said, "Good luck with that."

He stood and said, "Well, this was a waste of good diaper money, then. Diaper money down the drain."

He downed his drink and left without a word.

6 comments:

  1. "Diaper money" = fantastic.

    Maybe he should get a pregnancy/paternity test before getting so damn angsty. Oh, and know what, bro? MEN CAN USE BIRTH CONTROL TOO. It's called a condom. Visit your local Planned Parenthood for help with that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'd wear a condom but all the girls I fuck like the real feel of my fleshlight.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Men can use birth control?! My wife is a liar! Five kids now and *THIS* is how I find out I could have avoided it!!!

    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Taco, Scientist Fiance had a prof in college who was testing a Pill for men. It worked great, and the test subjects LOVED it, but they kept having to up the dosage until the prof had to stop the study for ethical resons. WHOMPS.
    Oh, also, you could get a vasectomy. *kanyeshrug*
    and five kids? You a Catholic or something? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Absolutely a fat chick on a date.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.