Jerk at Work

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Story Submitted by Mary:

For our first date, Brendan and I agreed to drive separately to a centrally located place, and then we'd decide where to eat from there.  We met in a parking lot at the back of a row of stores around noon.  He gave me a quick hug and said, "I know exactly what we can do today.  It's great.  Follow me."

We climbed back into our cars, and I followed him a little way out from the center of town, to a ramshackle place with chipping white paint, overgrown shrubs, and unsealed windows.  It looked like there hadn't been any upkeep to the place in years, although the grass had been recently mowed.

"Welcome to Mom's," he said, "We're just going to do a little bit of fixing today."

I said, "Fixing?"

He replied, "Yeah.  Her place needs a little TLC.  A woman's touch.  That's why you're here!"

I was dressed for a first date, in a nice dress and shoes.  Also, I didn't really want to help Brendan fix up his mother's house on a first, second, or even possibly third date.

I said, "I don't think I'm really dressed to help, and besides, I don't really think this is a great idea for a first date."

He said, "But it's different!  You can do dinner and a movie with any guy, but how many will give you the offer of rewarding manual labor?  We'll order in, do some painting, or whatever.  It'll go faster with two of us."

"I'm not really dressed for it."

He groaned and said, "I have some old sweatsuits somewhere, or you can just strip down.  That's probably what I'll do, and my mother's going to be staying in her room, so she won't see you."

I edged closer to my car.  "I don't think so."

"Aw, come on!  It'll be fun!"

"I'll think about it,"  I said, as I jumped into my vehicle, turned it on, and sped off.

I received a text from him a few hours later with the single phrase, "Wine's getting cold."  I never replied, and haven't heard from him since.


  1. Wine's getting cold? What a weird statement.

    White wine *should* be cold. Red wine is usually served at room temperature, so it would only be as cold as the room it is in.....

  2. TacoDave, I agree, it was a weird statement. But I must say your analysis of what temperature wine should be was even more weird. What exactly are you blabbering on about?

  3. And to think he went to all the trouble of heating up some wine and you weren't even... wait, what?

  4. I interpreted that to mean that he'd stuck the white wine in an ice bucket/the fridge and it would be chilled by the time she got there. That is, he was in the process of getting the wine ready for her arrival.

    And actually, red wine should be cellar temperature, which is slightly below room temp, but warmer than chilled. (I've actually had chilled red wine, as a friend of mine didn't know any better. It was, well, not awesome.)

  5. ^I'm sorry, but that doesn't even make sense.

    Contextually, you COMPLAIN about something getting cold, which is exactly what he is doing. No one would ever word a statement that way if they were only accurately describing something that they were purposely doing.

  6. When I read it, I thought the same thing Kat did. He was chilling wine. In this context, it's the only thing that makes sense.

  7. ^Or, once again, he messed up and didn't mean to say wine.

    Why try and force sense on a situation we know makes none?

  8. ^I am making a statement referencing the statement above.

  9. *shrug* It made perfect sense to me. I don't think he was complaining as much as he was trying (lamely) to entice her back to the date.

  10. Wine semantics wine semantics hipster posturing pointing out obvious innanities in a bad date.


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