Story Submitted by Ethan:
Back when I was a sleep-away camp counselor, I met Ginger. She had light brown hair, big blue eyes, and looked like a goddess in a bikini. I wanted her from the moment I first saw her, and I wasn't alone.
Luckily, we were both assigned to computer room duty for the first couple of weeks. This was good because the computer room was air conditioned and also because it would be just the two of us in there, away from any competition.
Ginger and I became friendly, and I found out that she was recently out of a very long-term relationship. "We were together since freshman year of high school," she said, "And he cheated on me with my best friend."
She confided in me more and more, and I genuinely felt bad for her. It wasn't long before our time in the computer center was drawing to a close, and I had to make a move. At lunch, I asked her if she wanted to take a walk that night, just around the camp, as long as we could get people to cover for us.
On the walk, we ended up down at the lake and sat next to each other on the dock. We spoke quietly for a bit, and I took her hand. The moon was out, the water was lapping, and every checkbox was checked on the "make your move" checklist.
I leaned in to kiss her, and she pulled away. "No," she said.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"No!" she screamed, jolted up, and kicked me into the water. By the time I surfaced, an instant later, she was gone.
Soaking wet, I followed her likely path to try and find her and see what was wrong. I didn't find her, so I returned to my bunk, dried off, went to the computer room, shut it down for the night, and figured that I'd perhaps make sense of everything with her in the morning.
The next morning, I showed up to the computer room and someone who wasn't Ginger, another female counselor by the name of Addie, was there. She said, "Hey, Ethan. I'm filling in for Ginger. She went back home. Had a nervous breakdown last night."
It took me a while to get over her, and over the fact that it likely wasn't my fault. I still think about her from time to time, and I hope that she's okay.
Pretty clear what went wrong here; Ginger made it clear she wasn't interested in you that way, and when you said "What's wrong?" she interpreted that as you not taking "no" for an answer, which set off her sexual assault warning flags. So much depends on what your tone of voice and body language were saying there that it's hard to say whether or not he was justified.
ReplyDeleteAfter all, it only takes a little to make a "What's wrong?" that's intended as "Ah, are you saying that you do not want to do this with me? Because if so I respect that" sound more like "What's the matter with you? Don't you understand that we're going to fuck whether you like it or not?"
And by kicking him into the water, it wasn't necessarily Ginger saying, "I'm prone to sudden outbursts of over-reactive violence," but more of a "love tap." Her nervous breakdown occurred as a result of the OP's lack of reciprocation, making her feel undesirable. So much truly depends on the tone and body language of the kick.
ReplyDeleteArthur's reply is bad enough that I'm hoping he's joking, but not funny enough for me to be sure.
ReplyDeleteOh, kicking him into the water was clearly an extreme reaction. And most likely it was an overreaction. But if Ginger's had bad experiences before with guys who failed to respond appropriately to "No" it's a reaction which is at least understandable.
ReplyDeleteAlso I don't think we can really take it on faith that she had a nervous breakdown because, even if OP is reporting the facts as he sees them, he only has a third party's word on that.
I understand your perspective, and I think it's valid, given the information we have. I was just rabble-rousin'.
ReplyDeleteEssentially everything Arthur said agrees with my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI agree that she might have had problems with forceful men in the past, but the OP was not aware of it and she didn't tell him. I disagree that "What's wrong?" could possibly be something to get alarmed about.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Ginger did NOT make it clear that she wasn't interested before the kiss attempt. She agreed to go for a walk with the OP at night, alone, and she held his hand. Those are signs that someone is interested. Then she kicks him when he shows concern. Not cool.
Granted, but who thinks it's a good idea to "make a move" on someone who is still very clearly devastated over a recent break-up? What could he hope to gain from trying that with someone who was obviously not in any kind of headspace to be in a new relationship? It seemed really doubtful he could even hope to be the rebound guy, much less anything like a good/healthy/not-soul-sucking-and-drama-filled relationship.
ReplyDeleteHis compassion was lacking, and/or his empathy, but he should have kept it to himself if only out of a sense of self-preservation.