Pain in the Neck

Story Submitted by Edward:

Valerie, who I met online, agreed to meet me a major intersection in town.  When she did, she looked great, but seemed in a bit of distress.

She said, "My neck's been hurting all day.  I think I slept on it wrong."

I suggested, "We can go to a pharmacy for some aspirin if you want."

"I took some earlier.  Probably shouldn't overdo it."

"Will you be okay for tonight?"

She rubbed her neck.  "Yeah.  I think so."

We walked to a Greek restaurant, sat down to dinner, and she did some slow neck stretches accompanied by some moaning.  I felt awful, but there didn't seem to be much that I could do.

She rubbed it with her fingers and said, "It feels a bit better when I rub it.  I'm sure it's just a muscle thing."

I offered, "If it's not too forward, I could give you a neck massage after dinner.  Like outside, on a bench or something."

The faintest hint of a smile passed over her face, which I took to be a good sign.  She said, "We'll see."

Aside from her rubbing her neck, moaning, and complaining avery minute or so, it was a decent dinner.  I felt bad for her, but what could I really do at that point?

Dinner felt rushed, and after the check was settled, I asked her, "Do you want to head out?  Maybe you should go lie down."

She rubbed her neck again and said, "This feels nice.  Hang on."

I repeated my prior offer, "Want that massage?"

She said, "Let's take a walk."

We walked to a nearby park, sat on a bench, and she slid close, her back facing me.  I put my hands on her neck and started gently.  She laughed and slipped away.  "Fail," she said, and stood up.  "You never touch a girl on a first date."

She shook her head around.  Evidently, her neck had been fine the entire time.  She said, "I can't believe you had your hands on my neck.  With your fingerprints, I could have you busted for battery."

I asked, "Are you being serious?"

She said, "Yeah," as if I was an idiot.

I said, "That's pretty psycho."

She shrugged.  "You were the one who had his hands on me just a second ago, and we've known each other for less than two hours."

I stood up, said, "Nice knowing you, then," and left.

"Works for me," she called after me.  Shame that she had to be that way, but better to find out sooner rather than later.


  1. ::mini-rant to follow:: This really disgusts me. It's a complete example of entrapment, which women in the dating scene practice all the time. Women throw themselves at men and get upset when they respond. It isn't fair and it isn't nice. He wasn't trying to rape this stupid girl; he was being a gentleman and offering to help her. He even said that he didn't want to be too forward. This is why people are reluctant to help each other out. You never know who is going to turn on you. And it was all some test!? That's the most insulting thing! It is reasonable to expect a man (or woman) to respect your physical boundaries, but it is insane to expect them to do so without knowing what those boundaries are. OP, I'm sorry this woman didn't show you enough respect to be upfront. Good luck out there!

  2. "It isn't fair and it isn't nice."

    A lady doesn't wander all over the room, and blow on some other guy's dice?

  3. Remember the woman with the fake limp? Maybe that was her plan, but she got annoyed when the OP worked it out.

  4. Sawyer, I think we've read enough stories to know that it is the normal seeming ones you need to watch out for. There were absolutely no red flags.

  5. Jared, I fell in love with you for quoting one of my favorite movies.

  6. Churro, excellent comparison.

    If it makes the OP feel better, she`ll probably end up alone with a lot of cats.


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