References Attached?

Story Submitted by Kirk:

Jenna and I were out to dinner on a first date when we made it onto the subject of past relationships.  Jenna had a three year and a five year relationship in her past, and I had a three year and a two year.

She told me a funny story about one of her exes and asked me about mine.  I was halfway into a quick description about them when she asked, "Can I call them?"

That stopped me cold.  "You want to call them?  That's probably not a good idea."

She asked, "Why not?  Have something to hide?"

I said, "No, I just don't really talk to them much and can't see how anything constructive could come of that."

Her eyes lit up.  "Ooh, you don't talk to them?  All the more reason why I should call them.  It won't be anything personal.  I just want to ask them, from their perspective, why the relationships ended.  I mean, you have your story, but I just want to hear theirs."

I laughed.  "You're kidding, right?"

She said, "No.  I'm serious.  I've done this before.  It's really not a big deal.  What are their numbers?  Or you can e-mail them to me.  I promise I won't ask them anything personal."

I said, "I'm not going to give out contact information for my exes."

"So you have stuff to hide.  Interesting."

"I don't have stuff to hide."

She said, "Every guy I've asked in the past has been more than forthcoming with the information.  If they're not, then they have something in their past that they'd rather not have me know, and it's so much the better that I find out now."

"My last relationship ended over a year ago.  There's nothing you could possibly ask my ex that would be enlightening."

"Fine.  Fuck it.  I won't call them.  First and last date," she said, then banged her fork on the table and shouted, "Service!"

It was an awkward rest of the evening.  She laughed at basically everything else that I said, but we went Dutch on the check and she didn't even say goodbye before leaving.  Am I crazy here, or was she way off the mark?


  1. I'm shocked that you finished the date.

  2. You should have demanded the numbers for her exes!

  3. You should have played her same ridiculous game; asked her, "in order for me to trust you too, I'm gonna need a full background check, full employment history and all your past addresses for the last seven years. I can't take a chance if you stole something small years ago, got fired from a job, etc. and decide to take advantage of me now. If you have nothing to hide, it won't be a problem."

  4. The correct response is to GTFOutta there!

  5. I would have excused myself to go to the bathroom and never looked back.

  6. OP, the answer is no. You're not crazy...well, at least not on the basis of this post. But just to make sure, I'll be needing your parents' phone numbers...


  7. I would've given her the rejection hotline's number. The end.

  8. Whenever someone gives you the line "Everyone else I've asked has [insert stupid thing here]" it's a clear lie to get you to go along with it and question your own instincts. (You can see this happen again in the 'Always Include a Stamp' post.)

    The fun response would've been to ask her for her exes' information. Not because she would've given it, but because it would've been fun to see what justification she comes up with for her double-standards. KF


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.