Hit and Run

Story Submitted by Manny:

I had been dating Deanna for about a month. Everything was going great, as we had good chemistry from the start and seemed to like a lot of the same things. One day I was at my place, hanging out with the guys, watching football, when she called me.  She sounded upset and insisted on coming over.  When she arrived I met her at the door and asked what was wrong.

She said, "My car's in the shop.  I was in a hit-and-run!"

I replied, "That's terrible.  You don't have any information on who hit you?"

She gave me a look and said, "No one hit me.  I hit a parked car.  You wouldn't believe the damage to my car!"

I asked her, "That's a bit different.  Did you leave a note?"

"Of course not!"

"Oh.  Don't you think you should have?"

"Whose side are you on, Manny?"

At this point, my always trusty crazy girl warning system was sounding the alarm. I escorted her to the TV room where my friends were watching the game. After introducing her to everyone and handing her a drink, I thought she'd calm down and just enjoy the evening.

She pointedly ignored my friends and kept hinting that we should go to my room for some alone time. As I didn't want to be rude to my friends (one of them had just returned from military duty), I told her that I'd spend time with her after the game. She spent the rest of the game giving me the silent treatment.

When the game finished, I wanted one last beer with my friends. She said that I had too much to drink already (four beers) and that she was leaving if I didn't go at that very moment. Thinking she was joking, I chugged one last beer with my friends.

Deanna stormed upstairs and started looking for some of her things that she had left on prior visits. "I should just leave you," she shouted down to me. 

That did it.  I calmly opened my front door and told her, "I think you should go."

She said, "No, I'm not leaving now and you can't make me.

I shifted gears and pretended to be drunker than I actually was.  For the next hour, I told her everything she wanted to hear.  I apologized for my behavior and blamed it on the alcohol.

Apparently she was convinced and finally exited my house. I locked the door behind her the second she left, apologized to my friends for that uncomfortable scene, and ignored her many calls and texts in the weeks that followed. I hope that she fixed her car as well as her mindset.


  1. You rock. Wish my crazybitchdar worked as well.

  2. I can't really approve of either of you. You were absolutely right to break up with her, Manny, but you should have ACTUALLY broken up with her.

  3. ^ I'm with Agnes. Pretending to be drunk and telling her what she wanted to hear was a pussy move. Personally, I would have called the cops to make her leave and told them about the hit-and-run while I was at it.

  4. Yes. Baku-chan has the right idea.

  5. I agree in principle with the above posters, but she was being quite a pill, it doesn't seem like she was going to leave easily, he did nothing to deserve her ruining his night, and she didn't deserve a respectful breakup.

  6. I think playing along to get rid of her was brilliant. Calling the cops would have resulted in an ugly scene and ruined his evening with his friends. Tho I would probably have told her over the phone I didn't want to see her again...

  7. She's crazy and you're a wuss.

  8. Couldn't even stand up to her with all your friends there backing you.

  9. Yeah, usually I'd say just be direct, but he knew she'd make a huge scene and his friends were already feeling uncomfortable. At least this would give them all something to laugh about after wards.


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