Car and Drive Her

Story Submitted by Jeffrey:

In my early twenties, Joanna wrote me a message online.  She was about eight years older than I was, and said that she liked younger men.  I liked most women, so it seemed as though there was the basis for some sort of relationship, superficial as it may have been.

Back then, I worked two jobs and tried to save money, so I didn't own a car.  I had a bike that I used to travel just about everywhere.  I didn't tell Joanna this, as she didn't ask, and I didn't think that it was a big deal at the time.

After sending e-mails to each other for a week or two, we decided to meet up at a place in the center of town.  I biked there, locked my ride, and walked down the sidewalk towards the cafe.

As I walked, a blue coupe pulled up beside me and rolled the window down.  "Excuse me," the woman inside called out.  I turned and saw that it was Joanna, sporting a huge pair of sunglasses.  She asked, "Do you have a car, kid?"

I said, "No.  I biked here."

She said, "All right.  Bye," and drove off.  It was such a dismissive statement that I thought for a moment that she was leaving permanently.  Then, I figured that she was circling the block to look for parking.

When 20 minutes had gone by and she didn't show up at the restaurant and she hadn't responded to my text or phone call, I realized that my first guess was accurate.  She had left without explanation, and the only thing I could think of was that my ownership of a car was somehow pivotal to her interest in me.  Her loss.


  1. Ha, how rude! She could've at least eaten lunch with you and let you pick up the tab. Then she could've never called or texted you back. That's the only polite way to go.

    I'm glad I found this site. I look forward to reading more dating horror stories! Feel free to check out my blog as well:


  2. As an Englishman with access to extensive public transport via trains and buses, where you can even walk to another town in half an hour, it surprises me still the stigma attached to not being able to drive in America.

    1. What stigma? In the big cities, owning a car is somewhat rare. (Maybe not in Los Angeles, where the public transit sucks, but in New York or Boston lots of people don't own cars.)

      Most adults who don't have cars do have driver's licenses, though.

  3. ^ Englishman with a name like Ashley?

  4. ^ Asley is not an uncommon man's name here in England. As a girl's name however it is almost unheard of.

  5. ^^ Ashley can be a boy's name; not very common in America, though.

  6. Well I learned something today. I never would have thought Ashley anything other than a girl's name.

  7. It became a prerequisite that any girl I started to date have her own vehicl. I got tired of being the only one who had wheels to travel back and forth to meet/date/drop off etc. I'm not a taxi service ... besides it's hard to shag on a bike...

  8. It's surprising to me that a woman who favors younger men would be so unsupportive of the fact that they tend to have more limited resources.

  9. ^I was thinking the same thing. It'd be one thing if she just happened to be an older woman giving "courgaring" a try and realized that she didn't have time for "boys" without cars, but to be so dismissive was just sad and rude.

    She'll find some young sugar baby someday, I'm sure.

  10. I have a friend named Lindsay (in Canada) and a distant cousin named Kelly.. Both men.

  11. Maybe she didn't think he was old enough to drive? My name's Joanna so I have to give her the benefit of the doubt...


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