The Queen of Match.com

E-mail Submitted by Phillip:

There's a problem!

I big mistake!

You haven't written me yet!

I'm Carolyn (see signature at bottom) and welcome to my site.  What's that?  You don't think that it's MY site?  Oh, I'm just letting you think that. 

Now that I have your attention.

As the queen of match.com, I hereby order you to tell me a little about yourself!  I've been on here for so long that I may as well own it!  I'm kidding, but I've been on a lot of dates from here and met some peasants, squires, and stable boys.  Way more dates than you, which is why I'm queen.  Or queenie.  Queenie's good ;)

As your first act in service to your queenie, you can ask me any five questions as you desire, and I hereby swear to answer all of them!

In exchange you will treat me like a queenie!  First because I am one, and second because I will treat you like a king in kind.  The king and queenie together!  Are you my kingie? 


Phillip replied:

Dear Queen Carolyn:

Just one question: what would it take for your highness to never message me again?



  1. You should go out and bang Queenie or she might have a receding heir line! ugh.

  2. Oh, I don't know. This isn't exactly an awful email.

    But she does sound kind of fat, I think Joe might be right.


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