Story Submitted by Alisha:
All of Donald's profile pictures were of himself in sunglasses. When he messaged me, I asked him for a photo of himself without sunglasses, and he sent me a photo of himself shirtless, but still wearing sunglasses.
I asked him if he ever took his sunglasses off, and he said, "Not really. They make me look cool."
I thought that cutting contact with him over so trivial a matter would've been silly and superficial, so we continued to chat online and I didn't bring it up again.
It was his idea for a date: dinner and a movie. Of course, he showed up with his sunglasses on, and he took me to a diner that was brightly lit.
At the movie, he kept his sunglasses on even when the lights went down.
"You're going to watch the movie with your sunglasses on?" I asked him, "Are you photosensitive?"
"No. They look cool."
It was after the movie ended when I decided that I had to see his eyes in order for there to be a second date.
"Can you just show them to me? For a second?" I asked him once we were out of the theater.
He replied, "Can you just show me your tits, then? In exchange?"
I said, "I think that's a bit different."
He said, "There's no difference."
I said, "Oh yeah? I'll bet you can't lactate through your eyes."
He said, "No one sees my eyes. Ever."
I said, "Then you're never going to see my tits."
"Okay," he said, "First and last date, it is."
To this day, I still can't figure out what his deal was.
1/15/2011
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I'd like to know how many times he has used this in order to get a girl to show him her tits.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he was an alien and didn't want anyone to see his eyes because it would totally give him away.
ReplyDelete@Baku-chan
ReplyDelete0? My bet is for 0.
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He probably had some kind of deformity that he'd become super sensitive about, with years of anxiety building into cynicism.
Cross eyes ATW.
ReplyDelete